


Disqualified

by velocitygrass



Series: Life-Changing Encounters [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:18:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4484354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What begins as a one-night-stand ends as a sentinel and a guide having to fight to have their bond acknowledged because the SGC forbids sexual or romantic relationships in sentinel/guide pairs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disqualified

**Author's Note:**

  * For [popkin16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I've never watched "The Sentinel". Everything I know about sentinel/guide lore comes from other John/Rodney fics, so if something here originated in another fic, all credit to that belongs to the author. I did take liberties and put my own spin on the idea of a universe with sentinel/guide pairs.
> 
> Many thanks to Niffer for the beta!

"Have fun," John said half-heartedly. There was no point in trying to hide from Teyla how he felt about the conference.

"I will," she said with a smile that acknowledged that John only came here for her sake. "Look around. Maybe you will find something interesting as well."

"Uhum," John only said. It was the same song and dance every time. As if John needed a reminder of what he was _supposed_ to do—or the fact that Teyla was looking to be found by a sentinel who'd be a better match.

He didn't hold it against his guide. Teyla did her best to ground him and never gave him the feeling that she was wasting her time with him. And he could understand the wish for a better match. That mythical perfect fit sounded so enticing that he'd looked for it too when he was younger.

But after over a dozen guides in as many years, John had had enough. He'd learned the hard way that the sentinel/guide matching score only told half the truth. His best match on paper, Peter, had made his skin crawl with his desire to get into John's head and a touchy-feeliness that made John shudder just thinking about it.

After that he'd welcomed Teyla's calm, friendly, professional way of guiding him. Their matching score was just above average, but she was by far the best guide he'd ever had, and since working with her, he had stopped looking for another guide.

He no longer cared about the numbers and how much better he'd supposedly be able to use his sentinel powers with a better guide. Searching for the perfect guide had brought him nothing but frustration. He was done with it. The only way he'd do it again was if Teyla left him.

He'd be sad to see her go, though he wouldn't begrudge her finding a perfect match. He only hoped that if she did find someone, it wasn't just a good score in a test. If he had to give Teyla up, it had better be to someone who deserved her.

John sighed, wondering how to best kill the time until the bar opened.

~~

"You don't have to fill every single second of the day, you know," Ronon said.

"Are you kidding?" Rodney asked. "If we're making the trip here, I better get the most out of it. I've made an itinerary with the talks and workshops least likely to aggravate me."

"Must have been a challenge," Ronon said.

Rodney glared at him. "Look, unlike you I can't just walk around and put out my spidey senses looking for a good match. If there's a better match for me, _they_ have to be the one to find me. So I might as well see what the so-called experts have come up with the last year."

"That music thing you picked up last year wasn't so bad," Ronon pointed out.

"Well, I adapted it to a point where it's hardly recognizable. If someone would take me seriously, I'd give a few talks myself," Rodney said, not hiding his frustration.

"You could try next time. Score isn't everything," Ronon said.

"Not everything, but enough to make complete idiots feel superior to me, when—" Rodney stopped himself. There was no point in getting worked up over this—again. It was what it was, even if it was completely stupid and unfair. "I'll see you at the sound workshop."

"I'll let you know if I want to skip it," Ronon said.

Rodney rolled his eyes but rushed away to get a good seat at the first talk.

"Have fun and relax a bit," Ronon called after him.

"Yeah, right," Rodney only muttered, not stopping.

~~

John held out an hour before heading to the bar once it opened. Part of it was not wanting to look desperate. He also preferred not to pick up one of the people who only went to such conferences to get laid.

John hadn't done much all day. He'd gone to a few talks and listened in on some workshops without actively participating. He'd given the sentinel/guide matching areas a wide berth. It made him twitchy to see hopeful guides looking for a matching sentinel. He'd stopped wearing a sentinel name tag after meeting Teyla. Even before that the level range and current matching score on the color-coded tags had made him feel like being part of a live dating site, which was quite ironic given that sentinels and guides weren't allowed to have a romantic or sexual relationship.

Now he simply went with the neutral gray tag with just his name on it. It wasn't anybody's business that he was a sentinel. And he certainly didn't want guides seeing that he was a high level sentinel with a mediocre match. Used car salesmen were nothing against desperate or ambitious guides.

He stopped thinking about what he wasn't here for and entered the bar, wondering if he'd find what he _was_ here for. Like everything at the conference the decorations at the bar were muted. No flashy colors or lights, no intricate paintings or sculptures to draw the eye of the observer. There was uninteresting ambience music.

John sat down at the bar and asked for a beer, looking around to see if anyone caught his eye.

He didn't dial up his senses. He tended to keep them down during the whole conference. Teyla was participating more actively and as such mostly not within reach, and he didn't want to risk zoning out. A sentinel/guide conference seemed the ideal place for it—which was why some workshops encouraged moving out of your comfort zone—but John disliked the idea of several guides trying to snap him out of it with whatever methods they saw fit.

John briefly thought of Peter and shuddered. No, he'd be perfectly fine with his dialed down senses, a pleasant beer buzz, and maybe someone to share the night with. He scanned the crowd. Many people were already talking with others, but there were a few who were sitting or standing alone. Some caught him watching and returned the look with interest. But John kept looking because none of them did anything for him.

It was hard to quantify what he was looking for. Something uncomplicated, so no one who looked too hopeful. He also avoided anyone who was too obvious about wanting to fuck. They could be fun, but some of those guys made him feel like he was being judged on his qualities in bed.

John's gaze fell on a guy who also sat at the bar, nervously playing with the label on his beer bottle. John watched his fingers move. His index finger repeatedly flipped back the top corners of the label, while the rest of his fingers seemed to move as if playing an invisible instrument. It was almost hypnotic.

"Can I have another one? No citrus anywhere near it!" the guy said.

John recognized the voice from somewhere. He wondered if the guy was a sentinel. Some sentinels had particular reactions to very specific things, though he'd never heard of someone being triggered by citrus.

The bartender brought the beer, and the guy said, "No citrus, right? I mean it. It's not just some sentinel preference. I'm deathly allergic."

"There is no citrus in or on it," the bartender said patiently.

"If you're wrong, you'll have me choking for breath on the floor in a few seconds. A dead body might kill the atmosphere," the guy said, looking around distastefully.

Suddenly John knew where he'd seen him before. He'd been in one of the talks, asking questions, though it was more informing the speaker how very wrong he was about everything he'd said. That had been one of the more amusing moments of John's day. He smiled.

The guy caught John looking and smiling, and his eyes narrowed. He turned back to his beer, took a sip, then carefully looked back to John as if checking if John was really looking at him.

John got up and walked over to him. "Hey," he said easily.

"Oh, uh," the guy stammered. "Hey," he added, then seemed to wince at how it came out.

John couldn't help a fond smile. So he was one of those guys. All bluster on the job, but a kitten in his personal life. The guy flushed, and John took that as an encouraging sign. "How do you like the conference so far?" he asked.

"It's fine," the guy said quickly. "Well, actually it's the same as every year. A lot of pseudo-science and feel-good voodoo to make you not feel like you're at a giant speed dating event."

John laughed. "Never heard it put so succinctly—or accurately."

"Really?" the guy asked. Even in the relatively low light of the bar John could see that his eyes were blue.

"My name is John," John said.

"I'm Rodney. Dr Rodney McKay," Rodney said, straightening.

"I have a room here at the hotel," John said, letting his gaze dip to Rodney's weirdly slanted mouth.

Rodney twitched and threw over the empty beer bottle. He hastily moved to pick it up, but the bartender beat him to it and removed it from the bar, disappearing again. "I, uh," Rodney said, looking back at John, then swallowing.

"You..." John prompted, smiling encouragingly.

"I'm not regularly propositioned, so this... You _were_ propositioning me, right?"

"Yes, I was," John said. "It's fine if you're not interested," he added. "Are you...interested?"

Rodney took a deep breath and looked John up and down. "Oh, yes," he said with feeling.

John had to laugh.

~~

John groaned. It wasn't really more than rutting against each other, but it felt so damn good. He slid against Rodney, felt Rodney's dick against his stomach. Rodney's hands were on his back, fingers pressing into his spine, moving lower.

They were sweating and breathing harshly, and when Rodney moaned after an especially hard thrust, John suddenly found it hard to keep his senses in check. Fuck, this was... He took a few moments to concentrate on restraining his senses. He hadn't zoned out during sex since he was a teenager.

"You okay?" Rodney asked.

"Don't want to come too quickly," John said, which wasn't entirely a lie. In fact he wished it would go on all night.

That was a short-lived wish, however, when they started moving again. Between the slickness of their precome, Rodney's breathy moans, and Rodney's fingers reaching the cleft of John's ass, John was rapidly losing control.

When Rodney starting thrusting with more force and slipped the tip of one finger into John's ass, John jerked and helplessly came between them. Rodney kept thrusting beneath him, moving one hand back up John's spine until he held him by his neck, and came with soundless cry.

John collapsed on top of him, panting against Rodney's sternum, while Rodney's fingers drew patterns on his neck. Eventually Rodney nudged John, who took the cue and moved aside. He was too worn out to move and simply lay there next to Rodney, catching his breath and feeling the sweat cool his skin.

He might have dozed off, but he was surprised when he felt Rodney clean up his stomach since he hadn't noticed him move. "Thanks," John mumbled.

Rodney only smiled. His eyes were an intense dark blue, and John found himself fighting his senses again that seemed to want to reach out to see and touch and taste Rodney to the fullest. He caught himself sniffing the air and forcefully tampered his senses down, but Rodney had obviously noticed.

"You're a sentinel?" he asked, frowning. "You don't wear a sentinel name tag."

"Yes, I...I'm not taking part in workshops or talks, and I'm not looking for a guide, so I figured I might as well go with a neutral tag," John said.

"You have a perfect match? You must be really lucky," Rodney said, sounding just a bit bitter.

"Uh, no. According to the SGC it's far from a perfect match, but I'm happy with her," John said.

"Oh," Rodney said. "Ronon's pretty happy with me too—as he _should_ be—but it doesn't keep him from looking for a better match."

Ronon had to be Rodney's sentinel. John hadn't looked at Rodney's tag, but even out of the corner of his eye he'd seen the green flash of the guide tag when they'd entered the elevator.

"Well, this was nice," Rodney said, sitting back on the bed and then standing up.

"Yeah, it was great," John said.

Rodney's answering grin held a hint of smugness. John watched him get dressed, admiring Rodney's ass and his broad shoulders and nice arms. When Rodney was done, he turned to John once more. "Night," he said.

John was tempted to ask him to stay, but it was what it was and he didn't want to complicate matters. It had been some easy fun and asking for more would likely only spoil the experience. "Night," he said.

Rodney smiled and left.

John lay in bed, allowing his senses to expand just a bit. He heard Rodney's steps moving away and smelled a hint of coffee.

~~

Rodney found himself waking up in a very good mood. He'd slept particularly well, which was probably a result of getting laid last night.

The sex itself hadn't been spectacular, but there'd been something...grounding, for lack of a better word, about it. And John was one of the hottest people he'd ever had sex with. The fact that he'd chosen to pick up Rodney of all people in the bar made Rodney want to grin smugly even a day later.

He showered and dressed, then headed down for breakfast, getting his minimum dose of coffee to prepare him for the second day of the conference.

The conference wasn't as bad as he'd feared. He'd picked up a few interesting techniques and theories that he could perfect by putting his own spin on them. Ronon was nowhere to be found, but that wasn't surprising.

He was probably getting into sentinel pissing contests—officially called sensing competitions. He knew what Rodney thought of those, so he wisely chose not to ask Rodney to join him. Rodney was glad he wasn't called to help him out of a zone out. It wasn't even that Rodney was against comparing sentinel abilities, but people didn't appreciate the work put into a less than perfect match. Eventually it became about the best sentinel/guide scores and by that time nobody remembered that Ronon had been much better than some higher matched sentinels.

But Ronon didn't mind not ending up as a winner. He admired high-functioning sentinels. And there were always guides looking to be matched at those competitions, so Ronon would get his chance to find a better match than Rodney. If not at the competitions, then in the sentinel/guide match-up areas.

Rodney had stopped by there during breaks, but he wasn't going to stay there for the full two days like some other guides whose sole purpose of coming here was to be spotted by a sentinel. It seemed demeaning to Rodney. Not to mention that an exceptionally well-matching sentinel should be able to sense him in the whole conference area if he was looking for a guide. He'd heard the tales of those legendary matches, which read like cheap romance novels without any actual romance.

If he caught a sentinel's eye only when he was in the matching area, then it wouldn't be a perfect match anyway. Rodney had no desire to start working with a new sentinel. Ronon trusted Rodney and appreciated his efforts, and he was ambitious enough that Rodney didn't feel it was a waste of time to come up with new ways to control his senses. For all their differences in personality and their medium match, Rodney was quite happy with Ronon as his sentinel.

At lunch, Rodney didn't spot Ronon either, though he did see John sitting at a table with a few others who seemed to talk among themselves without John. There was another seat free next to John, but Rodney didn't want an awkward follow-up to the pleasant night before, so he went to a different table and ate.

By evening Rodney still hadn't heard from Ronon. They still had time for their flight back, but this was unusual even for Ronon. Towards the end of the last talk, Rodney received a text from Ronon. Since the talk was pretty boring anyway, Rodney left to read it in the hall.

_I've found her. Meet me in the alcove behind the gallery._

Rodney read the text twice. Well, that explained the absence. He took a deep breath and made his way to the gallery.

~~

John tried to summon all positive energy and happy thoughts he could as he made his way to meet Teyla—and her new sentinel.

He _was_ happy for her. But even as he tried to only think of her and how bright her future was promising to be, he couldn't help the feeling of abandonment. He'd have to go through the whole agonizing process of finding a new guide again. How long would it take this time until he found someone he felt comfortable with?

John banished all thoughts of his own future and walked through the gallery to a little alcove where people could catch up on emails or chat informally. There were high tables and a few sofas. It was quite empty at the moment, though, since most people tried to get a head start on their trip home after the conference.

At one of the high tables John spotted his one-night-stand. Rodney looked up from his phone and saw him. John nodded in acknowledgement and smiled at him. Rodney nodded back but didn't smile. He seemed a bit tense.

John turned to look at the gallery, waiting for Teyla. It was only a minute later that she came into view. With her was a very tall, muscular man with dreadlocks and a beard.

"John," Teyla said. She was practically glowing with happiness, and in that moment, John truly only felt her joy. She took his hands and squeezed them. "I want you to meet Ronon."

"Ronon," John said, nodding at the man. The name somehow sounded familiar though it wasn't common and he couldn't recall where he'd heard it.

Then Ronon looked past John, where Rodney was approaching, looking from Ronon to John to Teyla.

"Oh," John said, recalling where he'd heard the name. Teyla's new sentinel had been Rodney's until now.

"That's quite a coincidence," Rodney observed. "Or did you—"

"I had no idea!" John said immediately.

Teyla frowned. "You know each other?"

"We, uh, met," John said awkwardly while Rodney turned an interesting shade of red.

Ronon raised an eyebrow at his former guide.

"Well, you told me to relax!" Rodney said defensively.

"Oh, I see," Teyla said. "That is unfortunate. I had thought that maybe we could work as a team with Rodney as your guide. Ronon's also in law enforcement," she told John.

"Where do you work?" Rodney asked.

"SFPD," Ronon told him before either John or Teyla could answer. "I thought we could move to San Francisco from LA. You never liked it that much anyway."

Rodney sighed. "It's probably for the best," he said, though it was obvious he wasn't enthusiastic.

John figured he wasn't looking forward to finding a new partner either. At least they could commiserate over that. Since it looked like they were going to spend some time together, at least in the near future. John couldn't say that he minded. Maybe they could even extend their one-night-stand. Though if they worked together closely, it might not be a good idea. He didn't want to cause Teyla and Ronon any awkwardness.

He'd just have to wait and see what happened.

~~

It wasn't a hard decision to stay with Ronon for a time. Even if Ronon and Teyla were a better match than Rodney was, Rodney was sure he could help them developing their sentinel/guide partnership by sharing with Teyla his perspective as Ronon's guide.

And he didn't leave behind close friends or anything else he'd particularly miss.

Ronon helped him move, and John and Teyla had volunteered as well, so getting everything in his new apartment was a matter of hours rather than days. Ronon and Teyla's rapport seemed to extend beyond their sentinel/guide match. They worked together well, gently teasing each other every now and then. John and Ronon also seemed to get along fine. The close partnership of Teyla and John was apparent in the way they moved around each other, as if they always knew where the other was at any given moment.

He wondered if John or Teyla thought the same about him and Ronon. They'd adapted to their idiosyncrasies, certainly, but Rodney wasn't sure this was something that would be noticeable by others.

Either way there wouldn't be opportunity to observe Ronon and Rodney as sentinel/guide pair for much longer. They hadn't officially requested Teyla to be Ronon's guide yet. This way they could work as a team without immediately starting the process of assigning Rodney to a new sentinel and finding a new guide for John, something which neither he nor John seemed to look forward to.

They ordered some pizza and beer when all the furniture and boxes had been brought up. Ronon and John shared some sentinel experiences. Teyla listened intently, and Rodney knew that she was filing away information for how to handle Ronon. It was a good sign. There were some guides that relied on _feelings_ alone, which seemed idiotic to Rodney. Observation, research, theories, and proving them in practice were the way to go. Maybe a better match allowed you to also rely on instinct, but to _only_ rely on that seemed criminally neglectful of a guide in his eyes. It was throwing away your sentinel's potential.

Their pleasant late lunch/early dinner came to an end, and when Rodney came back from throwing away the pizza boxes, he found himself facing an earnest looking Ronon—and suddenly in his arms.

Rodney squeaked in surprise when he was lifted, but squeezed back hard for a moment. They might never have been a perfect fit, but Ronon had still been the best sentinel he'd worked with, both on a sentinel/guide and a personal level.

"Thank you," Ronon said when he put Rodney back on the ground.

He didn't say anything else, but Rodney still heard it. Thank you for challenging me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for doing your best.

"You're welcome," Rodney said.

Ronon smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder before turning.

"We'll see you on Monday," Teyla said.

"Yes," Rodney said. "Thanks for helping with..." He gestured around the apartment.

Teyla smiled and nodded. She looked over to John, who didn't say anything. She turned and joined Ronon, and the two of them left.

He wasn't sure why John had opted to stay for a bit. Maybe now they could whine about being abandoned and forced to start new.

"It's not a bad place," John said. "Though you probably would have preferred not to move."

"LA never felt like a home," Rodney said. "I'm not sure San Francisco will either. I'll gladly help Ronon for a few more weeks."

"You'll stay here to find a new sentinel?" John asked.

"Probably," Rodney said. "In my experience the chances of finding a good match are equally bad wherever you are. I can't do anything about it anyway. I need a sentinel to find me. And they could have done that while I was still Ronon's guide. Not that I'm not happy for him. Teyla seems like a good guide—and person. They'll work well together. But..."

"I know what you mean," John said. "I'm happy for Teyla, but a part of me wishes Ronon wouldn't have found her."

"At least until you'd found a better match yourself," Rodney amended.

John shook his head. "I wasn't looking for a better match."

"Right," Rodney said. "You mentioned that when we, uh..." He felt himself flush. "Can I ask you _why_ you weren't looking for a better match? Even if it's rare to find someone, looking doesn't cost anything, right?" That's at least how he imagined it. Ronon had told him that it was keeping a certain sense alert while you were around others.

"That's one way to look at it," John said, apparently disagreeing. "I found it increasingly frustrating. It's like listening for a phone call that never comes. At some point you have to stop for your own peace of mind. And I had guides that were supposed to be a better match, one in particular, but a good match doesn't necessarily make a good guide. At least for me."

John's grimace was quite eloquent, and Rodney decided to take his word on it. "How good of a match was that? Was it perfect?"

"No, it wasn't," John said. "And I'm glad about that because the SGC was giving me a hard time letting him go as it was. I'm not sure they would have allowed it, had he been a perfect match."

"I've never had a problem dissolving a sentinel/guide assignment," Rodney said. "I guess they don't care about average matches. And I'm quite good at expressing why it would be a waste of time to keep me with a useless sentinel."

"I figured," John said with a grin.

Rodney raised an eyebrow in question.

"I heard some of your 'comments' at the conference," John explained.

"They all deserved what they had coming," Rodney said. "Just because they were lucky enough to find a good match doesn't make them better guides."

"Well, it sort of does, for their sentinels at least if they work well together," John said.

"But they weren't talking to their sentinels only! It seems ridiculous to me that a chance encounter will elevate you from a nobody to a super guide. Some of these people couldn't guide their sentinel out of a paper bag if it weren't for their match," Rodney said, not hiding his frustration.

"You're right. And yet, I have to admit, I'd like to know what it's like," John said.

Rodney exhaled. "Yes, I would too," he admitted. "But baring that, I'd settle for someone who at least values my work and talent. And someone who's not a sentiny."

John's eyes widened at the unflattering portmanteau of sentinel and tiny that was used derogatorily for low-level sentinels.

"What? I really think it's not asking too much to not waste high-level guides on people who hardly deserve the name sentinel," Rodney said. "They're just beneath me. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. It doesn't mean they're bad people or anything. Those are a whole other problem. If there's anything worse than a low-level sentinel, it's a sensitive one. And I don't mean in a sentinel sense. I swear to god, I had one guy who wanted to be cuddled every time after zoning out."

John shuddered visibly.

"Bad memories?" Rodney asked.

"My best match," John said. "He was very into _touching_. And talking about feelings."

"Which is not your thing," Rodney could only guess.

"If the SGC had forced me to stay with him, I would have faked my own death," John said.

Rodney chuckled.

"I'm not even joking," John said. He sighed. "I'm really not looking forward to going through all of that again."

Rodney sighed as well. "At least you have a certain amount of control over it," he said.

"Not in the blind matches that they force you into if you have no guide," John said. "Though going to meet-ups at conferences wasn't much better. At least you can see the level range there. I'd never say that a guide is _beneath_ me," he said, giving Rodney a look, "but I do notice if there are a few levels of difference."

"A few levels? Which level were you tested at?" Rodney asked, now curious.

"Does it matter?" John answered. "You couldn't be my guide anyway."

"Right," Rodney said, remembering their night together. John was certainly no less attractive now. And with a bit of practice, the sex could get better. "Since we've already disqualified ourselves from being a sentinel/guide pair, there's nothing that prevents us from continuing what we started at the conference."

"Oh," John said. He didn't seem outright disinterested, but hesitant.

"I know it was just a one-night-stand," Rodney said, "and I could be moving on very soon, but in the meantime it could be nice to 'relax' once in a while. If you want."

"I... The thought had crossed my mind actually," John said. "I just don't want to do anything that might impact Teyla and Ronon."

"This has nothing to do with them," Rodney said. "I'll do my best to help Teyla become the best guide she can for Ronon. No matter what happens between us." He meant it. Even if John turned out to be an asshole, he wouldn't let Teyla and Ronon suffer for it.

"Well, then," John said, coming closer. "I'm a big fan of 'relaxing'," he said with a grin.

~~

John thought that they should stop calling it 'relaxing' because it was more stimulating than anything else. Rodney gave great blowjobs and was very vocal in his responses. It was such a huge turn-on for John that he was tempted to let his senses come into play during sex, but he forced himself to keep them down, only allowing glimpses of higher sensation after they were done. The feel of Rodney's sheets on the prescription mattress, the sound of Rodney panting, the smell of sweat and sex with that hint of coffee that always seemed to linger around Rodney.

It was all so very inviting, but Rodney could be gone a month from now, so John ignored all calls to really _feel_ Rodney, though his senses seemed to demand _something_ when he was with Rodney, so the red brick walls of the apartment and the soft hum of Rodney's various electronic devices were burnt into his mind far beyond what their lack of importance warranted.

Thankfully it was easier to concentrate on something other than Rodney in the field. They were allowed to work as a team, and Ronon turned out to be a detective with good instincts. They worked together quite well, and when the four of them were together, John almost didn't notice that Teyla was here to guide Ronon now and not him.

She handled the double duty quite well, learning from Rodney what worked best when handling Ronon and at the same time being there for John when he needed her to help focus. That's why he didn't have any reservations about going into an abandoned warehouse to follow a suspect.

When their suspect seemed to have vanished into one door or another, John felt so reassured by the presence of the three others that he followed his instinct and let his senses flare.

He could hear noises, focusing until he could distinguish the suspect from the rats or background noises of the city. He could hear steps that stopped, but John listened more closely. Breathing. In and out. A heartbeat.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

~~

"Shit, he's zoned out," Rodney said.

"Are you—" Teyla began, but Rodney interrupted her.

"His breathing gets flat and he's not moving his hands anymore," he said. He had developed a technique where Ronon kept making little motions with his hand even when he focused almost exclusively on one sense. That made it much easier to immediately recognize a zone-out without disturbing Ronon while he was still focusing.

"Right," Teyla said. "John, do you— Oh, no." She moved to John waving her hand in front of his eyes and pinching his hand.

"Fantastic," Rodney said. He only hoped that reinforcements would be here soon and that the suspect didn't meet up with a gang of friends inside the building. "Let's focus on one of them at a time. With our combined forces, we should get Ronon out of it quickly."

Teyla frowned, but nodded, moving to Ronon's side again. She used a mixture of touch and sound on Ronon that Rodney had told her had been the most successful in the past. He observed her for a minute, but there was nothing he would do differently. She seemed to instinctively know how loud she had to be and where to touch.

Deciding that he couldn't be of use with bringing Ronon back, Rodney turned to John.

He took his hand and leaned close. "Come on, John," he whispered into his ear. "Snap out of it. You're not of much use as a statue." He stroked John's hand. "And I really prefer your interaction when we're together." He licked John's earlobe, then nibbled on it.

When John turned his head, Rodney jumped in surprise. He really hadn't expected John to come out of the zone-out so quickly. He looked at Teyla, who seemed as surprised as Rodney was.

"John?" she asked.

"I'm good," John said, blinking twice. Then he straightened. "I know where he is. And he's alone." Then he was off, running along a wall and disappearing down a flight of stairs.

"I— He— I'll go after him," Rodney said, doing just that.

He was doing all of the courses required of guides who assisted sentinels in the field, but he still didn't particularly like handling a weapon. However, he also didn't want to let John go alone. He _hoped_ John wouldn't be foolish enough to try anything that could cause another zone-out, but having _both_ sentinels zone out at the same time hadn't been spectacular planning either, so he didn't count on it.

The inside of the warehouse was empty save for a few pallets. John had his weapon drawn and moved towards the back of the large storage area. He stopped at the next door, which allowed Rodney to catch up with him.

John gave him a sign to stay quiet and wait. Rodney wasn't sure for what, but he did. John moved his ear to the door. Rodney hoped that was a sign that he wasn't opening his senses in a potentially zone-out inducing way.

Rodney watched John listen. He himself couldn't hear anything coming from the room on the other side. Shouldn't the reinforcement they'd called be here already?

When he finally heard quiet steps behind him, it was Ronon and Teyla.

John pointed at the other end of the wall, where another door connected the backroom to the storage area. They waited until Ronon and Teyla had positioned themselves and after Ronon had listened at the door as well, he signalled John and then everything went quite fast.

Within a minute they had the suspect in cuffs and his rights read to him, so that when reinforcements arrived a bit later, they had nothing left to do but take him back to the station.

Rodney was relieved, if a bit unnerved by what had happened. He'd grudgingly gotten used to dealing with criminal suspects, but the fact that he'd gotten John out of a zone-out so quickly meant something. He just wasn't sure what.

~~

"Good job," John said approvingly, grinning at Ronon. He loved the exhilaration of catching someone.

"You could have taken him alone," Ronon said.

"I wasn't sure how well-armed he was," John said. "And I knew he was still in there."

"It was wise of you to wait," Teyla agreed.

"Maybe it would have been even wiser to not run off alone after just coming out of a zone-out," Rodney commented.

"Right," John said. He'd been so focused on arresting the suspect that he had forgotten about apparently zoning out. "What exactly happened? I only remember focusing on the guy in the warehouse and that he was alone."

"Rodney got you out," Teyla said.

Something seemed to bother her about that, so John asked, "That's _good_ , right?"

"Yes, of course," Teyla said. "He was exceptionally quick in doing so. I took me longer to get Ronon out of _his_ zone-out. And that was faster than I ever managed with you."

John looked at Rodney. He knew what Teyla was implying. A sentinel and a guide who did not train together and were no match, should not be capable of resolving a zone-out so quickly even if they were both high level. That they hadn't trained together was a _fact_ , so the only explanation left was that he and Rodney were in fact a good match.

Maybe that tugging on his senses when he was with Rodney meant more than just lust. Though even if it did, Rodney wouldn't be allowed to be his guide.

"You should get tested," Ronon said.

"They will not do it," Teyla said confidently. She looked regretful.

"I have a friend who could measure our match," Rodney said. He looked hopefully at John.

"What would be the point?" John asked.

The slant of Rodney's mouth became more pronounced, and his shoulders sank. John almost took his words back, but they were still true. There was no point in putting a number to their match. It would only be more frustrating if they were a good match. "What will we tell Whitley?" John asked instead.

"We should not lie," Teyla said.

John sighed, but nodded. He wasn't looking forward to that talk.

~~

Rodney had only met Margaret Whitley once, but it was enough to convince him that she was just like all the other SGC liaisons that he'd had to deal with in his life.

Her appearance was according to recommendations made for people working a lot with sentinels. Her make-up and clothes were like her office, properly put together, with nothing that stood out visually. She wore no cloying perfume, an annoyance for some sentinels—and non-sentinels for that matter—and the only thing that seemed a bit at odds with her appearance were the very high heels. Rodney associated them with younger women, which Margaret wasn't. In fact her smile made her look almost grandmotherly.

Behind her glasses were sharp eyes, however, and Rodney didn't doubt that while she would purport to do everything in her power to aid the sentinels and guides she oversaw, he was sure she only truly served the SGC and that her main concern was not the sentinels and guides but the quotas the SGC had to reach and the successes they wanted to report.

"So you _both_ zoned out at the same time?" Margaret asked, looking from John to Ronon and back.

"Yes," John confirmed. "With Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney at my side, I felt that it was safe to try to locate the suspect in the warehouse."

"Same here," Ronon said. "We weren't in any danger."

Margaret frowned. "I'll wait for the full report to agree with that, but I think it's obvious you could benefit from better communication. It should have been enough for _one_ of you to locate the suspect." It wasn't a question, and none of them said anything. "Then again, this is only _temporary_ ," Margaret went on. "How long did you plan on working as a team? I would _highly_ recommend that John and Rodney take the opportunity to find a new partner as soon as possible. The sooner you find new partners, the sooner you can begin training with them. It's such a waste to have two high-level sentinels and guides without partners."

Rodney couldn't help wonder about John's level again, though there still was no point in knowing it. Margaret's eagerness to put them back into the system was obvious, and it rubbed Rodney the wrong way and not just because he didn't particularly look forward to it. She hadn't even asked if it had been Teyla who got Ronon out of the zone-out or him. "I feel that Teyla and Ronon would still benefit from my assistance," he said.

"Were _you_ the one that stopped Ronon's zoning?" Margaret asked Rodney.

"No, I did," Teyla said.

Margaret smiled widely. "Then we shouldn't delay you taking over as Ronon's official guide."

"Rodney's presence was still quite helpful," Teyla said. "Not to mention that he brought John back even faster than I could Ronon."

Margaret straightened, and her eyes widened in delight. "Is that so?"

John winced, and Rodney screwed up his face. He could guess what would come next.

"Then we should test you at once," Margaret said. "It would be _exceptionally_ fortunate to have such high level sentinels and guides be a good match."

Rodney could practically see her submit the report on how she'd found them. There'd be presentations at SGC meetings.

"A test won't be necessary," Rodney said since nobody else seemed eager to dash her hopes.

"Of course it is," Margaret disagreed.

Before she could point out the obvious reasons, Rodney said, "It wouldn't be accurate."

Margaret frowned. "But why wouldn't... Oh." She deflated visibly. Then she turned sharply to John. "Why did you _do_ this?"

"It happened before Teyla told me about Ronon," John said defensively. "I'm not even sure they'd met by that point."

"Surely you noticed the potential good match with Rodney," Margaret said.

"No, I didn't," John said coldly. "I wasn't looking for a guide."

For a long moment, Margaret and John glared at each other, and Rodney had to conclude that as bad as he was in general with people, he seemed to be better at dealing with the SGC than John.

"I guess then we'll have to find another guide for you," Margaret eventually said stiffly. "And a sentinel for you," she added towards Rodney as an afterthought.

"Thanks for nothing," Rodney thought but didn't say.

The conversation seemed to be over, and they all shuffled out of the office.

"She doesn't like you very much, does she?" Rodney couldn't help observing outside in the hall.

"She thinks I should be more _co-operative_ ," John said, making a face at the last word.

"You mean you should be looking for a better matching guide?" Rodney asked.

"It's not just about numbers," John said forcefully. Then he added more softly, "though she'll never get that."

"Well, at least numbers are impartial, and there _is_ a proven correlation between match and how well a sentinel/guide pair works together," Rodney couldn't help point out. He understood that John's experiences had been bad. But he wasn't sure going by nebulous feelings alone was better.

"But they can't put exact numbers on _our_ match, and that's reason enough for them not to let us even try," John said. "And yet you got me out of the zone-out first. If they trust numbers over _that_ , they're doing it wrong."

He turned and walked away, leaving Rodney to ponder.

~~

John couldn't think of anything he wanted to do _less_ on a Saturday morning than going to an SGC matchmaking, but he knew that short of going rogue, he had no choice in the matter.

It was a cold, gray morning, fitting his mood. He entered the block of glass and concrete that housed the SGC in San Francisco, wishing it was over already. He refused to believe that anything good could come from this. He remembered all too well how it felt to have his hopes dashed.

He thought of Rodney for a second. John could understand that Rodney would be all for numbers derived from reproducible measurements. It seemed like a scientist's way to view the world. And John wasn't entirely against matching scores.

He knew the history of sentinel/guide pairs before they introduced the new tests and how those tests revealed a sizable number of so-called "buddy guides", guides who were chosen by a sentinel not because they actually were a good match, but because they were friends.

When he'd entered the force he'd even met a sentinel who admitted he'd had his childhood friend as a guide until they were measured as being a very low match. He hadn't done it on purpose he'd said. But in the end he'd been glad when the SGC forced him to take a different guide.

Of course that might have been because he'd been one of the lucky few who'd found a perfect match.

John thought again of how Rodney had gotten him out of the zone-out. When the match tests had first been developed, the match scores for couples had nearly caused the theory behind them to be dismissed as it seemed to prove that they weren't reliable. Until they'd realized that romantic relationships were a common factor in all the outlier test scores.

Couples scored consistently—if by varying levels—higher in matching tests than they should based on the actual sentinel/guide compatibility, which was enough to instill a rule that forbade sentinel/guide relationships.

Prior to Rodney, John hadn't been attracted to any of his guides or guides that he'd met. But even then the SGC rule had seemed stupid. If a matching score couldn't be relied on, why couldn't the SGC do more rigorous testing in the field? He supposed some sentinel/guide pairs might try to fake good results—there were historical examples of that too—but he didn't think it was impossible for the SGC with its body of historians and researchers to find ways to still test couples if they showed promise.

John forced himself to stop that train of thought. He did not want to think about Rodney's potential as his guide. It wasn't going to happen. There was no point in speculating or wishing they'd never slept with each other. And he wasn't sure it would have been preferable to have Rodney as guide, but not be allowed to start a relationship with him.

His attraction to Rodney was growing rather than receding the more he got to know him. Instead of being mad at the SGC for not allowing him to try Rodney as his guide, he'd be mad at them for not allowing him to make a move on Rodney.

John took a deep breath before entering the door to the matchmaking room. Nothing good had ever come from being mad at the SGC, so he told himself to get over it and just do this.

He tried not to hope or to despair. There'd be time enough for despair, and hope...could only be crushed. If for some unfathomable reason he did find a good match this time, that could be a nice surprise, but he wasn't counting on it.

John approached the dapper young man at a desk. "John Sheppard, I'm here to—"

"Find a guide," the man finished for him with a smile. "Ms. Whitley called ahead."

"How...nice of her," John said flatly.

The young man raised one eyebrow, but then got up. "We were actually waiting for you. Since you're the highest level sentinel, you'll get to pick first." He gestured at a door behind him.

"Lucky me," John mumbled and went through the door.

The next room was as oppressively white as John remembered. There were no windows or decorations.

The young man—John let his eyes dip down to identify the name 'Jason' on his tag—followed him in. "It's been a few years, but I suppose you remember how it goes?" he asked.

"Try to sense the best fitting guide in the next room," John said.

"Well, if you sense someone outside the room that's fine too," Jason said, chuckling. John looked flatly at him, and Jason coughed and became all business again. "Just let me know where in the next room your next guide is located."

John didn't do anything for a few moments. He'd suppressed this sense for so long, it was strange to open it up again. He slowly opened the mental door to that place that let him search for _his_ guide.

Wow.

John's eyes widened as a single person on the other side reached out to him, shining like a bright beacon in the dark. He opened his senses further. He could sense every single person in the room next door, but nobody even close to that _one_ being, that _one_ guide. _His_ guide.

It had never been like this. Not even close. John felt almost giddy. If this wasn't a perfect match then he wasn't sure how that could possible feel because this was...

"Second row from the back, third from the right," John said, suddenly eager to meet his new guide.

"You sound very confident," Jason noted.

"There's no doubt," John said. "Can you please get her or him?"

"At once," Jason said, grinning. He went through the white door, and John turned his senses up enough to locate him as he approached John's new guide. After a moment, they walked towards the door, and John held his breath.

When he saw Rodney, John was speechless. He could feel all his hope and happiness crumbling until there was nothing left but utter disappointment.

Rodney made a face and dropped his head.

"Is something wrong?" Jason asked.

John was absolutely sick and tired of having to explain himself, so he remained quiet.

"We are not..." Rodney began. "We're in a sexual relationship, so according to your stupid rules, we cannot be sentinel and guide, though I'm beginning to think this rule is of questionable use and downright ridiculous in cases such as ours."

"Oh," Jason said. "That's...very unfortunate. Because Mr. Sheppard clearly—"

"Let's just move on," John interrupted him. He didn't need it rubbed in how perfect this would have been.

"All right," Jason said. "Just tell me the second best match."

John had to suppress a hysterical laugh. Second best in this case would be like second best in a race between a professional athlete and a bunch of toddlers. But there was no way around it. He tried to concentrate on the people in the other room, and while he could sense them, he couldn't get a feel for their compatibility as a guide. It was like trying to judge the relative brightness of a selection of matches with the sun nearby.

"I can't," he said. "Not with...Rodney so close."

Rodney's eyes widened.

"Could you go into the next room?" Jason asked.

Rodney nodded and left. John could sense him as he walked into the entrance room, stood for a moment, then continued on into the hall.

John tried to shift his focus to the people in the next room, but it was still not possible to get any kind of distinct read on them while Rodney overshadowed them all.

"I'm sorry. I still can't," John said.

"Oh. Hmm," Jason said. He left the room, and John followed him as he went to Rodney. "It seems it's still not enough distance for Mr. Sheppard."

John lifted his hand but didn't really know what to say. He didn't do this on purpose.

"You know what," Rodney said. "I'll just leave and come back when you have your next matchmaking. Just give me a call."

"Yes, under the circumstances that might be best," Jason said. "Thank you for your understanding."

Rodney only harrumphed. He turned towards the elevator and pressed the down button. Then he turned to John. "Good luck," he said. He didn't smile and looked back at the closed elevator door.

"Thank you," John said, turning before he could see Rodney go.

He walked back into the matchmaking room, Jason on his heels. He kept open his guide sense, feeling Rodney as he went down to the main floor.

"You still sense him?" Jason asked.

John only swallowed. He could sense Rodney walking out of the building, standing for a second before he turned left and walked for a block until John could no longer sense him.

He waited another minute to clear his mind from the feeling of sensing _his_ guide. Then he opened his senses again to the people in the next room. There was no one that stood out. There were some that didn't speak to him at all and some that felt okay. He picked one of those latter ones at random.

Jason went to get John's new guide and a few seconds later he presented Hendrik: a blonde, slightly awkward looking young man who smiled eagerly at John.

John sighed.

~~

Rodney couldn't get the look on John's face out of his head. In the span of two seconds he'd gone from ecstatic to despondent. Though ecstatic wasn't the right word. He'd seen John climax after all, and this hadn't been like that. This had been happiness and hopefulness and most of all it had lacked the wall that John seemed to put around himself at all times.

Rodney hadn't consciously realized it before seeing the open joy on John's face today, but John had always been guarded before, even when they had sex.

But it wasn't meant to be. At least according to the SGC. So far Rodney had had no real problems with the SGC's rule to disqualify couples from becoming guide/sentinel pairs. The rules were known, and it made sense not to waste time and resources on sentinel/guide pairs with a questionable matching score.

Except in this case they were demonstrably a good match. Rodney had read up on guide intuition but even experienced high level guides were not able to snap out non-matching sentinels within a few seconds. This had just confirmed his own experience in the field and at conferences.

Considering the fact that John and Rodney had to be an above average match and the innate problem of matching rare high level sentinels and guides, the SGC should be welcoming their match with open arms. Instead they still applied a rule even though its purpose was clearly not served in their case.

John had looked absolutely crushed at that realization.

Rodney had always been curious about what it felt like to _feel_ a guide. It was a sense that only sentinels possessed and even though he'd asked sentinels over the years and read about this particular phenomenon, he still couldn't imagine it. He'd wished more than once that there was a matching guide sense that would allow him to feel matching sentinels. Seeing John's reaction today, he'd been witness to the best and the worst result of the ability.

He was a bit sad that he couldn't have shared that moment of feeling their connection. On the other hand he was quite happy that his own disappointment was superficial compared to John's. Yes, it would have been nice to have a good match—especially to have it be someone like John whom he could work with very well on a personal level—but Rodney hadn't had as many problems with his sentinels as John seemed to have had with his guides.

Maybe he'd just been better at weeding out the bad ones quickly.

He hoped his next matches wouldn't be a string of those again. And it still frustrated him that the SGC would be so bureaucratic about this. Which was a ridiculous thought because the SGC was all about administration and statistics and reports. Flexibility didn't exist in their vocabulary. Rodney had actually used their predictability to his advantage, using numbers and probabilities when convincing them that he and his sentinel would be better off looking for another match.

But the rules had always been ironclad, and Rodney had never had a reason to call them into question until now.

It was especially grating that the SGC wouldn't even test them. Rodney would bet with their relationship advantage they'd be a perfect match. If they scored high enough, maybe the SGC would see that purely mathematically they'd have a minimum match that was still better than what the SGC would require of them to allow them to be a sentinel/guide pair.

Of course, Rodney didn't even know what exactly the expected difference was that the relationship made. Fortunately he knew someone who did.

"Beckett," Carson said when he picked up the phone.

"Can you do a test for me?" Rodney asked without preamble.

"Hello Rodney," Carson said. "It's good to hear from you. Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking. How are you?"

Rodney sighed. "I'm annoyed actually. Oh, and I'm living in San Francisco now," he added as an afterthought since Carson lived closer to San Francisco than LA.

"When did you move? We could meet for coffee. I'm in San Francisco at least once a month," Carson said.

"Less than a month ago," Rodney said. "Ronon found a new guide. She's in San Francisco, so we moved here. Which brings me to my problem. I'm out of a sentinel again, and Teyla's sentinel—Teyla is Ronon's new guide—is out of a guide."

"You're a good match?" Carson asked.

"I think so yes. And this is where _you_ come in," Rodney said.

"What do you mean you _think_ so? Why don't you just get tested at the SGC?" Carson asked.

"They won't do it," Rodney said.

"You've been there less than a month and have already aggravated them like that?" Carson asked.

"Hey!" Rodney protested. "I did nothing of the sort. Not to mention that they cannot refuse a test if asked, no matter how much they hate me. Which they don't. At least for now. Look, I need _you_ to test us."

"But why wouldn't the SGC... Oh," Carson said. He'd obviously finally connected the dots.

Rodney rolled his eyes.

"If you think you're a good match, why did you sleep with her?" Carson asked.

"'Her' name is John. And I didn't even know he was a sentinel at the time. It was at the same conference where Ronon and Teyla met," Rodney explained. "And he wasn't looking for a guide back then because he had Teyla. But I got him out of a zone-out practically like that"—Rodney snapped his fingers loud enough for Carson to hear—"and when we went to the matchmaking today, he picked me out first and the SGC guide implied that John had no doubt whatsoever that I was the best match by far."

"Hmm," Carson said.

"You see my dilemma here? Did I mention that John's also high level? I'm not sure what exactly but he's at least an eight because Teyla's a seven and he's higher level than her," Rodney said.

"Even if I were to do the test, it wouldn't be accurate," Carson pointed out.

"I _know_ that. But there has to be a range of inaccuracy. It's always a higher score, right? So by how much? We're not talking fifty percent or more, are we? Otherwise every couple would have tested as a good match and I don't recall that it was that obvious from what I've read," Rodney said.

"No, it's not that high," Carson said. "The maximum is maybe twenty, twenty-five percent."

"That's still higher than I thought actually," Rodney said.

"That's the approximate _maximum_. It can be as low as one percent or even less. We don't really know how or why a physical or romantic relationship influences the test. The SGC missed its chance to do the research when they still could," Carson said with a sigh.

"Yes, they did. And if they'd done their job properly instead of just imposing a wholesale prohibition, I wouldn't be in this situation," Rodney said, frustrated. "So can you test us?"

"It wouldn't be accurate, and the SGC wouldn't accept it either way," Carson said.

"I _know_ that," Rodney said. "It's just for me. I want to know what range our match is in approximately."

"You simply want to know and wouldn't badger the SGC about it?" Carson was clearly doubtful.

"Well, if I happen to mention how idiotic their policy is and they see the light, then that would be even better, wouldn't it?" Rodney said.

Carson sighed.

"Carson, I _need_ your help," Rodney said though he didn't like to admit it.

"Good god," Carson said exasperated. Rodney grinned because he knew he'd won. "You'll both need to come to my practice," Carson said. "And he needs to be open to the test."

"What do you mean?" Rodney asked.

"You said the test is just for you. But he needs to open up his guide sense for this to work. Otherwise it will lower the result," Carson explained.

"Ah," Rodney said thoughtfully. "That might actually counteract the plus from having sex."

"Well, yes, but the sentinel can actually lower the result by as much as fifty percent. Do you really want a result that could be everything from 50% too low to 25% too high?" Carson said.

That would of course be entirely useless unless they still scored 100%, which Rodney doubted if John was as reluctant as he'd shown to be. After today he probably didn't want to experience this again, knowing it wouldn't change anything. And Rodney couldn't in good conscience make him hope that they could change the SGC's mind. He couldn't bear seeing John so crushed again.

He'd have to find a way to ask John about it casually, but making it important enough that John wouldn't simply refuse.

"Thank you, Carson," Rodney said. "I'll let you know when we do the test. _If_ we do the test."

"Take your time, Rodney. There's no hurry, right?" Carson asked.

"I suppose not," Rodney said. He'd need a better strategy than just waving an unofficial test result at the SGC.

"So this John..." Carson asked.

"We're still having sex if that's what you're asking," Rodney said.

"Is it serious?" Carson asked.

"No," Rodney said. "Well...I honestly don't know. We haven't really talked about our relationship beyond continuing what was a one-night-stand at the conference. If I'm not picked by a sentinel, I might move back to LA or even Canada."

"I see," Carson said. "Well, good luck, Rodney, with John. I'll call when I'm in San Francisco the next time."

"Sure," Rodney said. "Bye."

~~

John nursed his beer and pouted as he watched Rodney with his new sentinel at the bar.

Rodney had been picked at the next matchmaking he'd gone to. Whitley had been quite satisfied. "And I see you've gotten off to a good start together," she'd added, looking pointedly at John, as if John was making it especially hard for Hendrik as opposed to Rodney and Lesedi.

It wasn't even as if they'd proven to be a good sentinel/guide pair. Lesedi was a level six sentinel with an average to good match with Rodney. She came from a family of sentinels and guides. Her mother's parents had been a sentinel/guide pair who'd left South Africa after Lesedi's mother had been born. Lesedi was also with the SFPD—not a surprise really, since many sentinels were working in law enforcement—so Rodney had kept the little office they'd set up for him when he'd arrived with Ronon.

He had expected Whitley to use any chance she got to drive home how much she disapproved of John's lack of enthusiasm for his new guide. What he hadn't expected was how fine Rodney seemed to be with his new sentinel.

If he was honest, John had hoped they could spend time complaining about their lot in life. But Lesedi had immediately picked up on Rodney's high level, and she was eager to train with him and had explicitly told Rodney how lucky she was to have found him, which were Rodney's two big guide-buttons that were sure to make him preen and put a new sentinel on his good side.

It helped that Lesedi was in her late twenties, so not completely new to sentinel/guide relationships, which was more than John could say of Hendrik.

Hendrik had had _one_ sentinel before John and that had lasted for all of three months. It had taken several months after that until he'd been picked out by John. He was level three, had no idea what he was doing, and looked like a kicked puppy whenever his suggestions weren't met with enthusiasm, which basically meant he _always_ looked like a kicked puppy unless they were in Whitley's presence.

The only reason he hadn't asked for a new guide yet was because he _knew_ that Whitley would hold it over his head that he had picked Hendrik after all. And because he didn't have hopes that the next match would be much better. He wasn't sure if the SGC had mentioned in their report to her that he'd identified Rodney first. She hadn't said anything about it, but that didn't mean she didn't know. Not that she'd care.

John sighed and looked at his almost empty beer. He was debating whether to get another one, when Rodney joined him at the table. Lesedi was with him, but remained standing. "I have some reports to finish. I'll see you tomorrow, Rodney. John." She nodded at him, and John lifted his head in acknowledgement and forced a smile to his face, which faded as soon as she left. It wasn't _her_ fault that she got to have Rodney as guide after all.

"Things are going well for you two, huh?" John commented.

"Well, considering the circumstances, yes," Rodney said. "We're nowhere near a perfect match, but I can work with level six and someone who's willing to listen to me."

"And do exactly as you tell them," John added with a smirk.

Rodney raised an eyebrow. "That's what training is for, isn't it?"

"Uhuh," John said, still smirking.

"Anyway, I had meant to ask you something," Rodney said, starting to play with the label on his beer.

John straightened a bit. Rodney usually didn't preface questions with so much as a hello, so this had to be something he wasn't sure about. John fervently hoped he wasn't going to ask about where their relationship was going, now that it looked like he'd stay in San Francisco. "What's up?" John asked, hoping to sound casual.

"I know a guy—Carson—who could do a sentinel/guide matching test on us," Rodney said, only carefully looking at John after he'd finished the sentence.

Phew. Not a relationship question. "Why do you want to do the test if it won't be accurate?"

"I'm just curious," Rodney said, though John was sure there was more to it.

"You want to know if we might be a perfect match," John said.

"We wouldn't know for sure, but we'd know the range at least," Rodney said.

"You think we'd set a record," John said, feeling himself smile. Rodney was so damn competitive. Of _course_ , he'd want to be able to back up his feeling that they would be a good match.

"High level matches are rare," Rodney only said, looking hopefully at John.

John took a deep breath. He wasn't sure he wanted to be reminded of how good a match Rodney would be, but he couldn't deny Rodney's pleading blue eyes, and he had to admit he was a tiny bit curious himself. "All right," he said.

Rodney beamed at him.

~~

They drove to Modesto the next Saturday. Rodney talked about how he'd met Carson in university, and John listened, letting Rodney's stories distract him from the upcoming test.

He'd almost had second thoughts about it, remembering what it was like to be able to _feel_ Rodney. He hadn't opened his senses again after picking Hendrik, but he'd have to do it for this test. John didn't doubt that it would feel just as good as before, but he absolutely didn't want to get used to the feeling. He'd do this for Rodney but that was it.

Carson welcomed them into his home, and they had some coffee and cake as Rodney and Carson caught up.

John got more nervous as time went on, until Carson picked up on it.

"Maybe we should perform the test now?" Carson suggested. "The results will take a bit, so if we do it now and you stay for lunch, they should be ready before you leave."

John immediately stood up. Rodney seemed confused for a second, but stood up as well. "In your practice, I assume," Rodney asked.

Carson nodded. "Follow me."

They were led into a nice looking room. It looked more like a study than a doctor's office. The furniture was oak and not the sterile white John had expected.

Carson pulled two comfortable looking padded chairs together, so that they could sit facing each other. "Take a seat while I get the recorder."

John and Rodney sat down. The chairs were close enough that their legs were touching, and Rodney squeezed his knee against John's. John squeezed back and smiled.

Carson came back in with a relatively large instrument on wheels. It was white, polished and had quite a few buttons and a little screen on it.

"I'll need you to open up your guide sense as much as possible," Carson instructed him.

John only nodded. He'd been through this often enough, the last time with Hendrik. Though they hadn't been given nice chairs to sit on then and the instrument was a different model.

Carson clicked a few buttons on the instrument and said, "I'll leave you to it. Let me know when you're done." Then he smiled at them and left the room.

"Okay," John said to himself. It had been very simple with Hendrik. His senses had basically still been open, and it wasn't as if he'd felt much at the time. They'd touched hands, and it had been done within seconds.

"If there's anything I can do to help," Rodney offered.

"No," John said. "It's just...I know what's coming this time and..." He didn't know how to prepare for it. He didn't think he could. He took a deep breath and slowly opened his guide sense to feel Rodney.

It was like stepping into direct sunlight on a cold winter morning. John basked in the feeling, but at the same time he felt himself holding back. It was too much. It occurred to him that even at that fateful matchmaking he might not have opened himself up completely to Rodney. He wasn't sure he could handle that. Not knowing that Rodney wouldn't be allowed to fulfill his role as John's guide. It wasn't fair.

John didn't want to wait any longer. This was as far as he was willing to go. He quickly took Rodney's hands. But unlike with Hendrik and all the other guides, he suddenly felt...horny.

"Everything all right?" Rodney asked, frowning.

"I, uh," John said. God, he wanted to fuck Rodney. He wanted to touch him, to expand their points of contact.

Rodney seemed to pick up on what was happening. "Oh," he said, his gaze dipping to John's crotch, where his cock was making itself known.

John felt himself flush. Reluctantly he let go of Rodney's hands. The sensation lessened, but he still wanted to fuck Rodney. He stood up, taking a step away from Rodney, but wasn't sure what to do.

Rodney stood as well, standing next to John. "Do you...? Should I...?"

John turned around and pulled Rodney into a kiss. If he couldn't fuck him, he at least wanted this connection. Rodney kissed him back immediately, and it was so good. John moved them until he could press Rodney against a cabinet, rubbing himself against him. Maybe he shouldn't have initiated a kiss...

"Oh, oops," he suddenly heard Carson's voice. "I thought I'd heard you move."

John forced himself to back away from Rodney.

"I assume you...?" Carson asked gesturing towards the instrument.

John nodded.

Carson pressed another button, then looked at them again. "Uhm. I don't want to pry, but what brought this on? Unless you...do this sort of thing when visiting old friends."

"Uh, no, we don't," Rodney said, frowning a bit. "We've never...when we weren't at home or back in the hotel room."

"It was..." John began. He didn't want to seem like some kind of sex maniac to Carson, who'd done them a favor by allowing them to do the test. "When I touched Rodney..."

"Oh. That's interesting. I've never witnessed something like this before during a test," Carson said.

"It was _never_ like this," John assured him quickly.

"Hmm, we can't be sure of course, but it could be related to the fact that the two of you are in a sexual relationship," Carson said.

"You think?" Rodney said sarcastically. "It's pretty obvious it's that. If you don't mind, we'd like to...go somewhere else before we'll join you for lunch. Right, John?"

"Uh, yes?" John asked. He wasn't sure what Rodney was suggesting, but he wouldn't mind being alone with Rodney.

"Let's go," Rodney said, taking John's hand.

Lust shot through John again, and he suppressed a soft moan but pulled his hand away. "Don't," he said.

"Oh. Ok," Rodney said, surprised.

John motioned for him to go. "Thank you, Carson. We'll be back later," he said, following Rodney out. Outside, John looked at Rodney. "What do you suggest?"

"There's a nice hotel nearby," Rodney said. "If I stay longer than a day, I take a room there. I thought maybe you'd wa—"

"Yes!" John said quickly.

They practically ran across the street and around the corner, and John inconspicuously put his hands in front of his crotch while he waited for Rodney to pay for their room.

It felt like an eternity until they finally closed the door behind them, and John immediately pulled Rodney into his arms and started tearing at his clothes even as he kissed him. He could still feel the guide in Rodney. He'd kept his sense open to him all through waiting, and he felt it beckoning him to open up his senses more, but he couldn't. He didn't dare.

As it was it felt overwhelming, and when he slid into Rodney he could feel his guide almost physically. Like the smell of coffee, the way Rodney's voice hitched, the softness of his skin, it filled John's senses, and he wanted...he wanted... It felt so good. Rodney was so tight and hot, his fingers digging into John's back, sweat pooling between them.

John simply focused on feeling all of Rodney as he moved and moved and moved towards their climax.

~~

"John." Rodney didn't know how much longer he could hold on.

This was different than any other time they'd had sex. They'd improved since the first time at the conference, but it had always felt casual somehow and this didn't. John filled him again and again, and to Rodney it almost felt as if it wasn't just John's cock inside of him, but...he couldn't really put it into words.

Whatever it was, it felt amazing, and he didn't want it to end, but at the same time he wanted to come and feel John come inside him.

After one particularly hard thrust, Rodney could no longer hold it and came with a shout, groaning as John fucked him through his climax and then froze and shot inside Rodney. He collapsed onto Rodney, then slid out of him, rolling to his side.

"I...I forgot the condom," John said apologetically between pants.

Rodney hadn't even noticed until now. "We can get tested," he said. "I trust you," he added because for some reason he couldn't feel the outrage he should.

"I'm sorry," John said. "I couldn't...think."

"I didn't think of it either," Rodney added. "Or is there something you—"

"Not that I know of," John said.

Rodney turned to him and cupped John's face, forcing him to look at Rodney. John frowned. "It was amazing," Rodney said.

The frown gave way to a smile, and John pulled him into a kiss. "Yes, it was," he said.

"It felt...different," Rodney carefully commented. He didn't want to accuse John of only going through the motions before, but he was curious.

"It _was_ different. I felt you," John said.

"Your guide sense?" Rodney asked.

John nodded. "It was almost physical when I...was inside you." His already flushed skin turned a bit more red at the last.

"I felt something too," Rodney admitted. "Maybe it was just... It was good."

"Yeah," John agreed.

They kissed again, letting their hands run slowly over each other now that the urgency of their need was gone.

"We should shower before we go back to Carson," Rodney said eventually.

"Together?" John suggested.

Rodney grinned. They ended up jerking each other off, and towelled each other off, landing in bed again, kissing. Rodney seriously considered calling Carson to tell him they'd join him for dinner instead when the phone rang.

Rodney looked and saw that it was Carson, so he picked it up. "Carson?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I have the result," Carson said. "Do you want to hear it now, or should I wait until you—"

"Just tell me!" Rodney said.

John had sat up when Rodney had picked up the phone and now he moved closer to listen in.

"It's 78%," Carson said.

"Oh," Rodney said, unable to hide his disappointment.

"That's a very good match," Carson said. "Everything over 90% is considered a perfect match, and you haven't even trained together have you?"

"No," Rodney admitted. "Thanks Carson. We'll drop by in half an hour for lunch." He hung up.

"You're disappointed," John pointed out the obvious.

"Of course," Rodney said. "78% might be a good match, but with up to twenty-five percent sex bonus, we could be as low as fifty-three. That's less than I had with Ronon or Lesedi."

John bit his lip. "What if..." he began, then took a deep breath. "What if I told you that I didn't completely open my guide sense?"

"Why would you do that?" Rodney asked.

"It's just too intense," John said. "You saw what happened even at this level."

Rodney had definitely seen. "I wonder if this is normal for sentinel/guide pairs in a relationship."

"It's not like we can ask any," John pointed out. "Though I find it hard to imagine that is how those tests went back in the day."

"Hmm," Rodney said. "It seems like the kind of thing that you might leave out of scientific research papers. Or you're right and it doesn't happen with everyone."

"We'll probably never know," John said.

Rodney didn't agree. He'd look into the research of the time, and maybe he'd find some evidence one way or another. Something else occurred to him. "If you held back your guide sense, we could be a higher match than 78%."

"I know," John said, stroking the back of Rodney's hand.

Rodney really wanted to do a test where John opened himself fully, but he respected John's wish not to do it. What had happened at Carson's place had been embarrassing, and who knew what it would be like if John ramped his guide sense all the way up? Maybe they could borrow the instrument that recorded the results...

Rodney forced himself to stop that train of thought. This had been to satisfy his curiosity, and he'd always known that the result wouldn't be accurate. He knew that John had only indulged him when he'd agreed to this, and he didn't want to press his luck. Especially now that he felt that their relationship was taking a turn away from something casual.

~~

"Just concentrate on the ticking of the clock for few minutes," Hendrik said.

John had tried to explain to him that he didn't see the point on rehashing things he'd done twenty years ago when he'd first found out he was a sentinel, but Hendrik wanted them to move step by step, and Whitley had encouraged him to try to do what he thought was best. John suspected the fact that it aggravated John was the icing on the cake for her.

Instead of trying again to persuade Hendrik, John let his mind wander.

Rodney had dropped by last night, and John had opened his guide sense up a bit again when Rodney had fucked him. It had been intense but not as rushed as in that Modesto hotel room. They'd since gotten tested and had the all clear for STDs, but they'd still used condoms yesterday.

They had never revisited their talk about the nature of their relationship. So 'officially' there were still only 'relaxing' once in a while, but John couldn't pretend that what he did with Rodney was casual. Certainly not when he opened himself up to really feel Rodney, feel _his guide_.

He looked at Hendrik, who sat at his desk and made some notes, and tried not to be too bitter about the fact that this man held the title that should be Rodney's.

John dropped his gaze again. He thought about Rodney again, about sensing him. Rodney was probably in his office right now, maybe training with Lesedi. It wasn't on the same floor, but considering that he'd been able to feel Rodney a block away that first time, he should be able to sense him now.

John carefully opened up his guide senses, looking for Rodney. He could faintly feel other guides in the building, Hendrik included, but despite the distance, Rodney stood out. John smiled inwardly. There was something calming about feeling Rodney like this. It was almost the opposite of what he'd felt when they'd touched for the test. He wondered why that was. Maybe it was something he could discuss with Rodney.

He opened up his sense of hearing, listening for Rodney and nothing else. It took an effort to focus so hard, but feeling Rodney through his guide sense helped. It took him a while but eventually he heard Rodney's voice, though it was indistinct and he couldn't make out words. He seemed to be in lecture mode.

John tried to focus even more strongly to be able to hear what Rodney said.

The indistinct sounds became clearer, and he—

~~

"On to a more practical exercise. I want you to listen closely to the counterpoints in this composition," Rodney said.

"This is to train my..." Lesedi prompted.

"Dual perception, obviously," Rodney said.

"Right," Lesedi said. "Of course, it has nothing to do with you enjoying Bach's fugues," she added innocently.

"Well, there's no reason I should suffer," Rodney said, acknowledging her point with a smile. "You can rest assured that I'll wear headphones once I set you on controlling aural focus in a crowd."

"Oh joy," Lesedi said with a sigh. "Hit me with it."

Rodney started the music, listening to the clarity and beauty of the chords. He sometimes wondered if a sentinel could hear things in music that were beyond their senses or if their heightened hearing would only destroy the sense of the whole, breaking it down. Reading about what sentinels had said about the matter hadn't really clarified this for him. There were things that couldn't be described, like a sentinel's guide sense.

He thought about John. Rodney hadn't asked, but he was sure that John had opened up his guide senses again last night when they'd had sex. He couldn't pinpoint it to a single physical act. It also felt stronger than merely _feeling_ that John had opened up to him. He couldn't explain it. It was just a beautiful experience, like the music he was listening to.

Rodney let himself follow the notes, thinking about nothing else—until a knock on the door disturbed him. He tried to ignore it.

"Rodney, I know you're in there. I can hear the music." It was Hendrik.

Rodney sighed, opened his eyes, and turned off the music. "Excuse me," he told Lesedi, who bit her lips, "I'll just deal with this nuisance." He went to open the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Hendrik said. "You were training?" He nodded towards Lesedi, who gave him a somewhat forced smile.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't have to be sorry if you hadn't done it. I'm assuming you wanted something other than disturbing us."

"Yes, of course," Hendrik said, looking nervous. "I, uh... John has...zoned out."

"What?! How? Why? And why the hell are we still standing here? Where is he?" Rodney demanded.

"Upstairs in my office," Hendrik said.

"Then go!" Rodney ordered. Behind him Lesedi had straightened.

Hendrik finally started moving, and the two of them followed him.

Rodney tried to get some answers out of Hendrik on the way, but he was entirely useless as always. "What do you mean a clock?" Rodney asked. "I can assure you, no sentinel past twenty would zone out from listening to a clock. Or was it focusing training? What else did you use beside the clock?"

"Nothing!" Hendrik assured him.

"But why on Earth would you let him focus on a stupid clock?" Rodney asked. "It's as if I asked you to try walking and breathing at the same time."

Beside him Lesedi tried to suppress a grin. Rodney gave her a warning look. "He's right," Lesedi said, getting serious. "There's no way he zoned out from focusing on a clock."

"All right, all right," Hendrik said defensively. "I can only tell you what I asked him to do. It's not as if he ever listens to me," he added under his breath.

"I wonder why that is," Rodney said. "Which room?"

Hendrik rounded a corner and opened the next door. Rodney went inside and immediately saw John sitting on a chair completely still. "How long has he been like this?" Rodney asked, crouching down in front of John.

"About twenty minutes?" Hendrik said.

Lesedi's eyebrows rose, and Rodney asked, "Why didn't you call me sooner?"

Hendrik swallowed. "I tried to get him out myself," he said stiffly. "When that didn't work, I decided to call Teyla, but she's out with Ronon right now. She told me to find you."

Rodney decided to not even ask what he'd tried. He had no idea what John had been thinking picking this guy. There'd been over a dozen guides in that room. At least half of them had to be less useless than Hendrik. He took a deep breath and concentrated on John.

He cupped John's face, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. "Hey," he said softly. He moved one hand further back into John's hair and leaned forward to kiss John's temple. "Come back to me," he whispered softly. He nibbled on John's ear, and when that didn't immediately work, he put the hand on John's cheek down and pulled John's shirt out of his pants, so that he could slide his hand to his waist, skin on skin, stroking him there softly.

He kissed John's jaw and finally heard him exhale and say, "Rodney?" Rodney pulled back to be able to look at him. John was smiling softly. "I was just thinking about you." Then he seemed to become aware of where he was. He looked around to where Hendrik and Lesedi stood.

Hendrik was flushing and seemed to be in shock. Lesedi simply smiled and said, "Good to have you back."

"I zoned out," John concluded.

"You were gone for over twenty minutes," Hendrik said.

"Twenty minutes in which he didn't inform me," Rodney said pointedly. "I got you out in less than a minute."

"Twenty-six seconds," Lesedi said. "I, uh, took the time."

Rodney looked at Hendrik who went from shocked to unhappy. "We need to tell Margaret."

John groaned in protest. Lesedi's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything. "I don't suppose we could persuade you not to?" Rodney asked.

"What do you mean? All zone-outs have to be reported," Hendrik said.

"I thought so," Rodney said. "You know what. Maybe we _should_ tell her just how incompetent you are."

Hendrik stared at him, then straightened. "I'm doing the best I can."

"That's the saddest part of it," Rodney said. "Let's go."

~~

John felt a bit bad for Hendrik. Rodney certainly didn't mince words. But he was also right. It was time to end this farce. If Whitley would allow it.

"It was a very simple exercise. I only asked John to concentrate on the sound of a clock. I know it's quite basic, but I want to start our training slow," Hendrik told her once the four of them were seated in her office.

"Right, you mentioned you wanted to try it like that," Whitley said, smiling gently at Hendrik.

"It's completely senseless," Rodney disagreed. "No, it's worse. It's _insulting_ to a guide like John."

Whitley ignored him and looked at John instead. "What exactly happened?"

"I didn't focus on the clock. I was bored, so I tried to sense Rodney," John admitted.

"There are hundreds of people in this building," Whitley said.

"They're not him," John said.

Whitley looked at him for a long moment. "That's quite extraordinary," she said. "If you had opened your senses before deciding to engage in a sexual—"

"He had no reason to," Rodney jumped in before John could defend himself. "He _had_ a guide at the time. The problem isn't that we have sex, it's that the SGC forbids something simply because it makes their job a bit more difficult. We're scoring at 78% without even trying, but you insist on lesser matches, because that number must be foolproof for you to put a checkmark in a list rather than looking at what the number is supposed to show about a sentinel/guide pair."

"How did you get that number?" Whitley asked, eyebrows narrowing.

"I have a friend who performed the test for us," Rodney said.

"And what do you mean without trying?" Whitley asked.

Instead of answering, Rodney looked to John.

"Why does it matter?" John asked instead of explaining how overwhelmed he'd felt. He didn't want to talk about it unless he had to. Unless it would serve a purpose other than satisfying her curiosity. "Would you change the rules for us if we were demonstrably a good match?"

Whitley's jaw clenched. "You can go," she said. To John she added, "Don't do that again."

John got up. "Why?" he asked casually. "Rodney can get me out, no problem."

"What if he's not here?" Whitley asked, folding her hands in front of her.

"We could team up," Lesedi suggested.

Whitley's eyebrows shot up. "So that you can circumvent the rules?" she asked. "I'd think that you as Rodney's sentinel would want his attention on _you_."

"He _is_ my guide," Lesedi said calmly, "but if he could be useful to John in the field as well, there's no point in wasting that opportunity."

"Maybe John could get a new guide," Hendrik said, straightening. "Someone with a more appropriate level. And someone who'll also semi-match with Lesedi at least."

John felt slightly awkward. He knew that Hendrik had done his best, and it hadn't been his fault that John had picked him. John should have paid more attention to his guide's level. If he concentrated hard, he could feel at least the range a guide was in, but he'd been so distracted by feeling a real connection with Rodney that all the guides had seemed more or less equally inadequate.

"That's a good idea," John said, supporting his guide at least once.

"Yes, your self-assessment is very good at least," Rodney added. "I agree completely with you, and believe me, I never thought there'd come a day where I would say that."

"It's not up to you what happens," Whitley reminded all of them. "John _picked_ his new guide. He can't just try out a new guide every week until he's happy."

"No, but John can request a new guide if he feels it's the best course of action," Hendrik said. "Our 'match' certainly won't keep him from doing that."

"I'll consider what's best for all of us," John said.

Whitley looked at him disapprovingly, but didn't say anything.

~~

Rodney thought that meeting had gone quite well. They'd all but gotten rid of Hendrik, and maybe he'd be able to assist in guiding John.

Outside of Margaret's office, Teyla and Ronon were waiting.

"I see Rodney managed to get you out of the zone-out," Teyla said to John.

"In under thirty seconds apparently," John said, smiling at Rodney.

"Let's get a drink, and you can tell us what happened," Ronon suggested, and they all agreed.

At the bar, Rodney saw John taking Hendrik aside. He stayed long enough to hear John awkwardly thanking him for being understanding. Rolling his eyes, Rodney went on to sit at the bar with Lesedi.

"Did you mean it?" he asked her after ordering a beer. "You'd be okay with us going with John and his new guide?"

"Why not?" Lesedi asked.

"Well, Margaret does have a point. You have the right to a guide who focuses on _you_. And I can't guarantee I wouldn't bring John out of a zone-out first if it came to it," Rodney said.

"If you can get him out quicker, it would be the most efficient way to handle the situation," Lesedi said. "If we're out catching bad guys, I'd prefer him to be able to help defend us if necessary."

"Well, just because it's rational wouldn't keep some sentinels from not liking it," Rodney pointed out.

"I didn't say I'd like it or that I wouldn't prefer a different situation, but I'm fine with it," Lesedi said. "We both know that I hit the lottery when you were free that day and no other high level sentinel with even a passing match was there to grab you first."

"You're trying to flatter me," Rodney said. "It's working," he added with a smile. Being underappreciated was his biggest pet peeve, and Lesedi certainly didn't fall in that trap. And even if part of it was charming Rodney, he thought that she also genuinely felt grateful to have him.

Lesedi grinned. Then her face became serious. "The SGC is full of shit. About the romance regulation at least. My grandparents were a sentinel/guide pair. They were married for sixty years before they died within a month of each other. I get that they don't want to give out sentinel/guide benefits just on a promise, but there have to be better ways to handle it."

"I know," Rodney said, trying not to wallow in his own frustration on the topic. Instead he focused on the history, since Lesedi could offer a more personal view on that. "There were quite a few sentinel/guide pairs in romantic relationships back in the day," Rodney said. "Before they developed the test I mean. I'm not sure if it was just because they spend so much time together or if there's something inherent in a good match that..."

"It's the bond," Lesedi finished for him. "That's what my nana always said anyway."

"She believed in that?" Rodney asked. He'd heard of bonding of course. But he was pretty sure that even before matching scores took the place of personal evaluation of sentinel/guide pairs, bonds had been considered a myth that symbolized the luck of not just finding a good match in a sentinel/guide sense, but to also find love at the same time. Not to mention that the physical effects sounded like romanticized porn or pornographic romance.

"Oh, hell yes," Lesedi said. "That first time must have been spectacular. Not that I know details. Hearing her mentioning it was more than I really needed to know." She cringed.

Rodney thought about the time he and John had had sex in Modesto after doing the test. The difference had been very pronounced even if he couldn't specify exactly what was different. "The SGC's position is that sexual relationships _interfere_ with the test score," he thought out loud. "But what if the changed test score is just a reflection of a different match once you're bonded. Sex triggers all kinds of neurological and chemical responses, as does matching in sentinel/guide pairs. Maybe there is an actual physical connection there that would explain _bonding_."

"Are you proposing we test it?" Lesedi asked, one eyebrow raised.

"What? I... No, that..." Rodney stuttered.

Lesedi laughed. "Just kidding," she said. "Maybe you're right about the bond, though. Would be sad for the rest of us, of course. Not everyone falls in love with their guide. And haven't there been studies from early on that proved that scores by sexually active sentinel/guide pairs don't reflect their actual abilities together?"

"There's no data beyond those initial measurements that were used to justify forbidding it," Rodney said. Though she was right. If the scores had matched, they wouldn't have been outliers in the first place. "Maybe it just accelerates the measurements so that without training you're behind," he speculated. "Or maybe it _does_ inflate the score _and_ genuinely makes a better match. Or it does one or the other depending on the sentinel/guide pair. We'll never know for sure if the SGC stubbornly refuses to allow such pairs."

"Hmm," Lesedi said. "That friend of yours who did the matching test for you? Couldn't he also do an actual performance test?"

"I don't think so," Rodney said. "I've never seen the instruments they use for those tests outside of the testing centers. And between tests they're further developed in SGC labs. I can't imagine them just handing one over for a day."

"No, probably not," Lesedi agreed. "You and John could still start training together. Have you ever?"

"No," Rodney said. "I'm not sure he's up to that," he added uncertainly.

"Up to what?" John asked, standing behind Rodney.

"Let's go," Rodney said instead of answering him here and now. He turned to Lesedi. "Thanks. You gave me a few things to look into."

Lesedi shrugged. "I'm your sentinel. At least for now."

Rodney nodded and left.

~~

John watched Rodney as they drove to John's apartment. He was unusually quiet.

Once they were up in John's loft, he asked Rodney, "So, what's up?"

Rodney looked at him for a moment before saying, "We could train." When John didn't immediately answer, Rodney straightened and went on, "In the worst case scenario, there's no improvement. There'll certainly be no harm."

John still hesitated. Not being able to have Rodney as his guide was bad enough. He didn't think constantly reminding themselves of that fact would do anyone any favors.

"It's a small investment in time," Rodney said. "There's no risk and really no good reason not to at least try it."

"I'll get a new guide," John pointed out. "It would be weird to just ignore them."

"I didn't suggest you do that," Rodney said. "You can train with them. _And_ they can train with Lesedi."

"Doing exactly what Whitley accuses us of trying," John said. She hated him enough as it was. And he didn't want her to be justified in it.

"It's not our fault that they're handling this so nonsensically," Rodney said. "And since when do you care about what Margaret thinks?" John only gave him a look. Rodney faltered. "Or is there another reason?" he asked uncertainly.

"You really want to see what we're capable of as a sentinel/guide pair, don't you? That's why you asked Carson to do the test, and that's why you want us to train," John said.

"Well, yes," Rodney said. "I see no downside to trying our best."

"Even if they still won't allow us to officially be sentinel and guide?" John asked.

"I certainly hope to change their mind on that, but even without it, for the cases where I _can_ act as your guide, it would be beneficial if we were optimally prepared," Rodney said.

John sighed. Rodney couldn't understand how hard it was for John to control himself when it came to Rodney. He also didn't seem to grasp that this wasn't something that John could just switch off and forget about. Every time he opened himself up to Rodney as his guide made it that much harder to shut down that sense, knowing it was still there waiting for him.

"I know you said it's _intense_ ," Rodney said. "But don't you think it's worth trying at least?"

"What if it's really a _bond_?" John asked. He'd only picked up bits and pieces of Rodney's conversation with Lesedi, but he'd heard that word come up, and he'd listened enough to hear that Rodney's reaction hadn't been derision. John had always considered it a myth, but after what had happened in Modesto and last night when he'd opened himself up to Rodney, he wasn't so sure.

"That would be great, wouldn't it?" Rodney asked, apparently confused about John's reservation.

"The bond is said to be...for life," John said. He was, frankly, terrified of the intense connection that the bond promised to be, but this particular aspect might be something that even Rodney would consider worth discussing.

"Oh, I understand," Rodney said flatly. "You don't want—"

"Rodney!" John interrupted him. "It's not that I _don't_ want it. I...like you...a lot. But we've only known each other a few weeks and so far our relationship was..."

"Casual?" Rodney guessed. "It wasn't for me, you know," he added, dropping his gaze. "I mean...I didn't have sex with anyone else."

"I didn't either," John said.

"And I didn't _want_ to," Rodney added, looking up at John.

"Neither did I," John said, meeting Rodney's gaze.

Rodney held his gaze, then lifted his chin and said, "And I wouldn't mind if we continued this for...however long it works."

John stepped a bit closer. "I wouldn't mind either," he said softly.

"Then why did you bring up the bond?" Rodney asked, frowning.

"I just..." John stopped, unsure how to explain it. "This isn't something that I can just do because it's _practical_. It means...something, and I just want to be sure that you understand that. And that you feel the same."

"I do," Rodney assured him quickly. "It means...a lot."

"Okay," John said.

"Really?" Rodney asked hopefully, taking his hands.

John pulled him close and kissed him. He opened up his senses to feel the connection between them. He had no idea if it was the mythical bond, but it was intense as always, and it left him breathless and hungry for more.

He started tearing at Rodney's clothes, trying to reach more skin. Rodney helped them undress, and they made their way to John's bed. John touched every bit of skin he could reach. Rodney's skin was amazingly soft. John could feel every single little hair.

He didn't dare to open his senses fully, but he still took in more of Rodney than ever before. He could feel Rodney's heart beating, every hitch of his breath, every time he swallowed down a moan, and when he didn't swallow it down, it went straight to John's dick.

There was Rodney's taste and sweat and the way his muscles moved above John. It was intoxicating to sense so much of Rodney and at the center of it all was the knowledge that Rodney was _his guide_.

John felt the overwhelming call to open himself fully to the experience, to claim Rodney as his guide, but he couldn't. It was too much.

"Fuck me," he said instead. If he couldn't surrender his senses to their connection, he could surrender his body to Rodney at least.

"Yes, of course," Rodney said. He leaned forward to retrieve condoms and lube from the nightstand, and John closed his eyes when he was faced with that perfect ass up close.

Rodney prepared him, and John forced himself to be patient and not order Rodney to just fuck him already. He dialed his senses down for a minute, breathing hard while Rodney pushed two more finger into his ass and spread the lube.

Then Rodney was finally ready to enter him, and John pulled his senses back up. He didn't want to miss the stretch and burn when Rodney's hard cock pushed inside in one go. He wrapped his legs around Rodney, pulling him even deeper.

"God, John," Rodney groaned. "Can I?"

"Fuck me," John said.

Rodney started thrusting into him hard. He was propped on his arms, looking down at John with his blue eyes blown wide. A drop of sweat was running down his nose and when it landed on John's chest, John reached up to put his hands on Rodney's shoulders. He needed to feel him. He needed to taste him.

He didn't want Rodney to stop the hard rhythm he'd set up, so John leaned up until he could reach Rodney's mouth and kissed him. Rodney kissed back hungrily and then he _stopped_ thrusting.

"Don't stop," John told him, but Rodney only pushed him back down, then pulled his hips up until he could sit back on his heels while still embedded deep inside John. John arched his back, groaning at the angle, but then Rodney pulled his whole body close, and John unwound his legs until he was straddling Rodney.

Rodney's hands grabbed John's ass and moved him up and down until John got the idea and started riding him in earnest. Rodney licked a stripe up John's neck and John moaned at the sensation.

There was no way they could hold this position for long, but it allowed them to fuck and kiss and feel. John's cock was pressed between them, rubbing against Rodney's stomach.

John could sense it all, in him, on him. Sweat and skin and sex, Rodney moving beneath and inside him, surrounding him, filling him. He was everywhere, every sound and scent and taste and... He opened up his senses just a bit more, and there was Rodney and they were...they were...

Rodney pushed his tongue into John's mouth and slipped an extra finger in John's ass next to his cock, and it was too much. John shouted out his release, convulsing in Rodney's arms as he came and came and came.

~~

Rodney held onto John, letting John's climax take him over the edge as well, as he came inside John, shuddering hard.

John collapsed onto him, and Rodney felt too weak to hold him, so they fell backward in an awkward pile of limbs, dangerously close the border of the bed. He pulled his finger out of John's ass, then pushed John off towards the center of the bed, so that he wouldn't fall off.

Rodney managed a few breaths, then got rid off the condom and got a washcloth and did a quick job of cleaning them up.

John was still breathing hard when Rodney lay down on next to him, pulling John close.

He waited for John to open his eyes, and when he finally did, Rodney could only say in wonder, "I could feel you. I mean not just your body—not that that wasn't great—but _you_." He could only imagine that this was what sensing a guide had to feel like. When he'd pulled John on top of him, he'd suddenly felt him as if he could physically feel John's mind or soul or whatever it was. It had been faint, but oh so precious, and he'd let it fill him and guide him. "It was amazing."

John turned his head away.

"Is...something wrong?" Rodney asked.

"I still...didn't fully..." John began. He turned back to Rodney. "It's not that I don't want it," he said apologetically. "But..."

"It's intense," Rodney said. What he'd just felt had been incredibly intense, and if what John felt was the same but magnified, he could understand that John was hesitant to open himself up. Even if Rodney wondered how much of John he'd be able to feel if he ever did.

"Yes," John said. "And I feel like I'm not ready. It doesn't mean that I don't want it, but—"

"Maybe it's too soon," Rodney finished for him. "We haven't trained together at all. And, well, technically our relationship until earlier today was just a friends with benefits kind of thing, so maybe as we ease into this, you'll feel...better prepared."

"Thank you," John said, smiling relieved.

"It's fine," Rodney said, smiling back. "And if that wasn't even the full experience I can't _wait_ to see where we'll go. I mean I _can_ wait. I don't want to—"

John laughed and pulled Rodney into a kiss. "I understand what you're saying," he said.

"Good," Rodney said. "We could do another test with Carson and see if he can measure any difference," he added carefully.

"I'd probably jump you right then and there if I fully opened up to you," John said.

"Do you generally keep it closed off?" Rodney asked, curious. "Like before we met?"

"I..." John hesitated for a moment. "It's not as easy to shut it off as it used to be. I want to be able to sense you that way. It feels... _right_."

"But you never do unless we..." Rodney looked around the mess they'd made of the bed.

"Not quite," John said. "I opened up to feel you earlier today when I zoned out."

"Did you want to jump me then?" Rodney asked, curious.

John seemed to consider that. "Not more than I normally do," he said with a smile. "I think it's the combination of opening myself up to you more than before _and_ touching you."

"Then we'll keep those experiments to the bedroom," Rodney suggested. "I'd still like to do a test with Carson. Maybe if you open yourself to the same level as today, the reaction will be...manageable."

"We could get the room in advance next time," John said with a grin.

Rodney grinned back. "Wanna start training?"

~~

Training with Rodney was interesting. He switched between classic focusing exercises and experimental things that felt more like messing around for fun than training. But John's favorite exercises were the grounding ones.

He'd done them with Teyla and his other guides, but when he'd previously felt only a vague sense of someone being there for him, Rodney really stabilized his senses. When they did a sound exercise and John focused on that sense while keeping his guide sense open and anchored to Rodney, he could focus better than he'd ever before without zoning out.

Focusing on one sense always felt a bit like shedding his physical existence. That moment when he was just his mind, processing a sound, a smell, a sight, tended to be when he lost control and zoned out. But with Rodney at his side, it was like he had a tether that kept him secured to his body.

It was exhilarating. He didn't go any further in their first training sessions. Eventually he'd want to test out how far he could take his abilities with Rodney's help, but for now he was more than happy with how much better he could focus with his guide.

Well, not really his guide. Like John had feared, training with Rodney had the downside of showing him how it was meant to be for a sentinel and guide pair. And it was hard to be reminded that they weren't. John was caught between forcing himself to close off the connection to Rodney and keeping it open for extended amounts of time. It simply felt _right_ to feel Rodney that way.

But as long as the SGC didn't agree with that, there was no way around finding a new guide for him. Which was why the next Saturday, John found himself back at another SGC matchmaking.

He'd met up with Lesedi in front of the building, and when the two of them entered together, Jason scowled at them, a stark contrast to the cheery welcome he'd gotten last time. Jason pulled himself together and approached them.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Ms. Williams," he said. "Aren't you satisfied with your guide?"

"I'm very happy with him," Lesedi said. "Just lending some moral support to a colleague." She glanced at John.

Jason narrowed his eyes, looking from her to John.

"Shall we?" John asked. "Or do you have others who come first?"

"No," Jason said stiffly. "Follow me."

He walked to the selection room, looking back over his shoulder. When he saw that Lesedi didn't follow them, he seemed to relax. "I'm sorry it didn't work out with your last guide," Jason told John, more friendly now.

"Right," John only said. Then he concentrated on the guides in the next room. As always except that fateful time with Rodney, he didn't feel any one guide stand out. So John tried to get a feel for those that pinged for him at all. In the end there were six that would be at least an average match and that were level four or higher.

John got out a little pad that he used to take notes during a case and noted down their exact positions. Then he turned and left.

"Where are you going?" Jason asked, walking after him.

John ignored him and went back to the reception where Lesedi waited. "Pick the best of these," he told her, handing over the note.

"Wait, you can't do that," Jason said.

John turned to him. "These six are all equally acceptable to me. None of them stand out over the other in any way. She's my coin toss if you will."

"But Ms. Williams _has_ a guide. I know that you'd rather take Dr. McKay as your own guide, and I'm really sorry that didn't work out, but we have these rules for a reason," Jason said.

"And I'm here, am I not?" John said. "I picked six out of the group that are fine for me. It's not like I let _her_ choose my guide."

"But that's exactly what you just did," Jason said.

"So if I close my eyes and pick one from the list it's fine, but if she does it, it's not?" John asked.

"You know exactly what you're doing here and why we don't support it," Jason said. "There should be no point at all to her making the final selection because Dr. McKay should be her guide and _only_ her guide and whoever is picked now will be _your_ guide and _only_ your guide."

Lesedi came back. She gave John the list and pointed at the second one. "All right," John said. "I'll just randomly pick one. Let's go with...him or her," he said, pointing at the second on the list.

Jason glared at him.

"Would you please retrieve my new guide?" John asked.

Jason grumbled but took the note from John's hand and disappeared.

"So?" John asked.

"Wouldn't have been my first choice, but they're solid," Lesedi said.

"Also the highest level of them," John commented.

"I know," Lesedi said with a grin.

Jason returned with a man in his thirties who wore glasses and looked calm and serious. "Sung-soo Chung, meet your new sentinel, John Sheppard."

"Nice to meet you, John," Sung-soo said, lifting his hand.

John only nodded and shook his hand. "This is Lesedi," he introduced. "She's also a sentinel. We'll probably be working as a team together with her and her guide, Rodney."

They shook hands as well.

"Let's do the initial matching score then," Jason said, leading them to the device.

It was over within a moment. John was tempted to ask if Lesedi and Sung-soo could do the test as well, but he didn't want to aggravate Jason further. And work in the field would show better than the test if Lesedi and Sung-soo could work together.

The door opened and someone came in. Presumably the next sentinel who came for a matchmaking. While Jason was distracted welcoming her, John told Sung-soo, "Why don't we get a coffee to get to know each other a bit."

Lesedi nodded, "Sounds good."

Sung-soo only nodded.

One coffee and croissant later, John still didn't know what to think of him. Lesedi and he had tried to explain the situation to him because he'd realize it sooner or later and it seemed fair to tell him more about their reasons.

Sung-soo remained quiet, only commenting when they explicitly asked him, and "I understand" was all he had to say on the matter of acting as a team.

John couldn't tell he if thought it was a reasonable idea or if he was going to run to Whitley first chance he got.

"We'll find out soon enough," Rodney said, when John caught up with him later that day. "In the meantime, there's something I want to try."

Rodney's grin was infectious, and as they started the exercise, John opened his senses and enjoyed the time with "his" guide.

~~

They drove to Modesto the next weekend. Rodney was eager to see if their training and John's willingness to open up more would result in a better score and if so by how much.

He was glad that John indulged him, both by training with him and agreeing to let Carson do another test. Rodney knew that it was hard for John. He couldn't fully relate to it because his only point of reference was faintly sensing John when he opened up his guide sense as much as he dared. But since he had no control over it and it was far less intense, Rodney could see it as a gift, whereas for John it seemed to be both a gift and a burden.

At least as long as there was no chance for them to be a real sentinel/guide pair.

Carson was happy to see them though he was a bit wary when he left them alone to do the test. He was probably afraid that they might defile his office. Which was another thing Rodney was curious about. Would John feel as horny as the first time, even if he only opened up his guide sense to the same levels they'd already experienced?

During training they'd touched while John had his guide sense opened, and it hadn't turned sexual, so their theory right now was that it only happened when they deepened their connection by physically touching while John opened up his senses to new levels.

The test in Carson's office confirmed the theory, as this time John wasn't ready to jump him after the device had registered the measurements.

They still decided to go back to the hotel where they'd gotten a room ahead of time. "Can you measure it precisely?" Rodney asked as they walked to the hotel. "I mean could you say that you've opened up your guide sense to exactly 70%?"

"Yes and no," John said. "I know how far I've already gone with my guide sense. At least when it comes to you." He looked over to Rodney. "The closer I come to that point the more I feel...a call, if you will, to go further. So I can say pretty precisely that I went as far as I ever did with you but not further today. But I can't say if that's 70% or 95% or just 50%."

"Because you don't know how much more is to come," Rodney concluded.

"Yeah," John confirmed. He sounded...not afraid, but there was certainly a healthy respect for this unknown.

They got to their room and had slow, gentle sex. Rodney didn't mind it. He could faintly sense John, so he guessed John had kept his sense open even after they'd left Carson's place. He'd sensed John on and off in the last couple of days, so John seemed to open up his senses to him more frequently, maybe even always, but not always at the maximum level he was comfortable with at the moment.

They lay together and enjoyed the afterglow, casually touching and kissing when Carson called.

Rodney immediately picked up. "Is it better? By how much?"

"It's 85%," Carson said. "I'll see you in half an hour."

"Yes, thank you," Rodney said and hung up. He wasn't sure how he felt about the result.

"You're disappointed?" John asked.

"I...no," Rodney said. "85% is very good considering that you haven't fully opened up and that we only just started training. I'm sure we could be a perfect match in time."

"The score won't count," John reminded him quietly.

"Even if you decrease it by 25—which is the _maximum_ bonus our relationship should give _and_ it doesn't count the fact that you're not opened up fully—that would bring us to down to 60%, which is better match than you have with Sung-sung," Rodney said.

"Sung-soo," John corrected him.

"Whatever," Rodney said. "I'm not even sure I want to learn his name. I still hope that we can convince the SGC that their rules are not in their best interest."

"But in the mean time we're working as a team," John reminded him.

"Yes, yes," Rodney said. "I still don't know what to think of him. It's not that I don't appreciate people who keep their mouth shut if they don't have anything useful to say, but he's... I need _some_ data to be able to dismiss someone or—"

John snorted. "He's okay. He lets you take over in the field when I need it. He's even started working with Lesedi."

"On her suggestion," Rodney pointed out. "I don't trust people who do everything that you tell them."

"If he didn't, you'd say he was an idiot for not doing what is most rational," John said.

"Well, yes," Rodney admitted. "Still, he doesn't even comment. At least, he's as quiet with Margaret. So unless he's secretly a spy for the SGC, we're fine."

"What would he report to the SGC?" John asked. "That we're bending the rules by switching guides sometimes in the field? If he's not telling Whitley, who else would he report to?"

"I wasn't serious about him being a spy," Rodney said. "In all probability he's just a guide who was lucky to have been picked by you and Lesedi. Or unlucky. I'm not really sure. It's not as if being reassigned as guide is more fun than it is as a sentinel."

"The only way out for any of us is to find the right partner," John said.

"Or be found," Rodney added. "Except in our case, where finding each other isn't enough. Though I still think with a 60% match—with potential to be much higher—there's no excuse for not officially recognizing us."

"Is that 25% relationship bonus even an accepted fact?" John asked. "I mean accepted by the SGC? And even if it were, 60% is not good enough for them to start making exceptions. You know how they are. If it doesn't fit into a neat checklist, they won't do it."

"And it's idiotic and counter to everything they're trying to achieve with said checklists," Rodney said.

"Telling them that won't change anything," John said. "We could wave a 100% result at them, and they'd dismiss it out of hand because in their minds having sex equals an unreliable test result."

Rodney settled back down next to John. "Do you think we could reach 100%?" He'd love that not just to push the result down their throats and see them choke on it, but simply because the experience had to be amazing if it already felt so good at 85%.

"I honestly have no idea," John said. "I never cared about the numbers. I need to click with a guide. The best I felt with a guide was with Teyla. Well, except that moment when I thought I'd picked a new guide and felt you. That was..."

"Keep going," Rodney said.

"Like a shining light in the dark," John said, flushing a bit. "Like a diamond among coals," he added, his tone becoming more flowery. "Like a lemon among cabbage," he finished with a grin.

Rodney made a face and hit him with a pillow while John just laughed.

~~

Going out as a team worked quite well. John sometimes wished they could have made this arrangement with Ronon and Teyla, but he couldn't have denied them becoming a real sentinel/guide pair. They'd made progress together, allowing Ronon to use his senses more reliably and to greater effect.

John's training with Sung-soo was all right. He was not only noticeably more experienced than Hendrik but also quick to take John's feedback into account. Beyond that, he had a few new ideas, some of which John liked enough to tell Rodney about, who could then flesh them out even more and incorporate them into their training.

John noticed the progress they made as they trained, even if they didn't spend as much time on it as he did with Sung-soo or as Lesedi did with Rodney. They'd decided to keep their official sentinel/guide assignments when training within Whitley's realm. It wasn't that she'd made it a habit to spy on them, but sometimes she had follow-up questions to reports or other SGC business and decided to take it to them instead of calling them into her office.

John could have sworn that she was surprised when she'd found him training with Sung-soo the first time.

They had to report on zone-outs, of course, and they didn't lie about Rodney getting him out, but since it was so much faster than Sung-soo would manage and because they avoided zoning out at the same time, Whitley couldn't really argue with Rodney helping Sung-soo out.

It obviously still wasn't ideal, but it would have been a lot worse if John and Rodney were separated completely.

It was a normal case—a break-in into a store—and they were just going in to interview a witness when out of nowhere they found themselves under fire.

Rodney went down before they were able to take cover, and when John saw the blood rapidly forming on his shirt, he focused on Rodney's weakening heartbeat without thinking. It was frightening how hard John had to focus on something that had become second nature to him as he got used to having a part of him tuned in on Rodney.

Now Rodney's heartbeat was becoming so faint that John had to use all focus he had on still hearing it. One faint thump and then John listened and listened and listened...

~~

When John came out of the zone-out, he couldn't see Rodney. In fact, he wasn't in the same room.

"Finally," Lesedi's voice came from his feet.

"John!" Teyla said from his bedside.

His bedside. He was in a hospital. "Rodney," John said. He remembered the blood.

"He's in surgery," Lesedi said. Sung-soo stood quietly next to her.

"How serious is it?" John asked weakly.

"We do not know yet," Teyla said.

"How did you zone out?" Ronon asked from behind her. He looked concerned.

"I listened to his heartbeat," John said. "I'm not used to... I need to know if he's alive." He closed his eyes, opening his senses to Rodney.

He felt Teyla take his hand. "John, I'm not sure that is wise."

But he ignored her until he could feel Rodney two floors down. "He's alive," John said relieved. "He's alive."

~~

Rodney hated being in the hospital. He wasn't allowed to use his laptop, and reading journals all day or watching TV only served to annoy him. He knew that a bullet through the chest—lucky as he had been that it hadn't hit anything more serious—was nothing to take lightly, but he wasn't asking to go back to work. He just wanted something to keep him occupied when he wasn't sleeping.

When there was a knock on the door, Rodney's mood lightened. Visitors were a welcome reprieve. Especially if it was John, and he could feel that it was him.

The smile on Rodney's face froze when he saw John's face. John looked furious.

"What happened?" he asked, mouth drying.

"Whitley wants us to split up," John said. "She thinks it's too much of a risk to let us work together."

Rodney could understand John's disappointment. He wasn't happy himself, but he had wondered about what had happened when he'd been shot and John had zoned out. "Why do you think it happened?" he asked carefully. "I mean there are a lot of sentinel/guide pairs working in law enforcement, and presumably some of them have been shot on the job, but I've never heard of this happening before."

"I don't know," John said defensively. "You don't agree with her, do you?"

"Well," Rodney said. "Zoning out when I'm unable to help you is a _problem_. They had to bring you to the hospital with me. That's..." He stopped when he saw John clench his jaw and look away. "Maybe Carson can say something about it," Rodney decided to say to change the subject. Or at least move it into a more constructive dialogue.

John still didn't look at him.

Rodney sighed. "John, I don't agree with her," he said. "But I'd like to know what happened. I want us to be able to handle this better if it should happen again." He lifted his hand and reached out.

John turned to him, and after a moment came and took Rodney's hand. He squeezed it, then he sat on the bed and carefully lay down until his head was cradled on Rodney's shoulder. He took a deep breath, and Rodney thought that he was probably taking in Rodney's scent.

Rodney kissed the top of his head and smiled.

~~

John listened to Rodney and Carson going over the events without contributing much. He knew that if he'd stopped to think, he'd realized that being under attack was a terrible time to risk a zone-out. But he'd run purely on instinct the moment Rodney had been shot. Of course, he'd try to act differently the next time, but the truth was he couldn't be sure he wouldn't do the same.

"Maybe you need more training," Carson said.

"We _are_ training and improving all the time. You know our latest test result," Rodney said.

"Yes, I do. 91% would be a perfect match and it's _rare_. Such a connection is a gift, but it requires more work to maintain. Sentinel/guide pairs usually don't reach such levels without training together often and for all senses," Carson said. "Is that what you do? I got the impression you only trained a bit in your spare time."

"We can't exactly ask Margaret to schedule some time for our training," Rodney said, glaring at Carson in frustration. "I'm still officially Lesedi's guide. We have work, I'm doing physical therapy, and John and I would like to spend at least _some_ time together that doesn't involve training."

"No need for details," Carson quickly said.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I wasn't going to tell you. Not that it's just about...that. I'm just saying that we cannot train as much as you'd expect from other perfect matches, because the SGC will not give us the time they'd afford any other sentinel/guide pair of that calibre. Not to mention that I still don't understand why you think training would solve this. Even if we assume our relationship 'jumpstarted' our match, I've never heard of someone as experienced as John in the field forgetting _everything_ he knew and zone out in a situation like that." John winced, and Rodney added, "I'm sorry."

"It's true," John said quietly. Which was the real problem. Every part of him rebelled against Whitley trying to keep them apart, but as long as this could happen again, he wasn't sure if she wasn't right.

"And it's unprecedented," Rodney said. "You can say about Margaret what you will, but she knows who to call at the SGC, and none of their historians have ever heard of something like this. If an accelerated match was prone to causing this, we would have hundreds of recorded incidents of this from back when romantically involved sentinel/guide pairs were common. But we don't, so I don't really think we can just assume that's the explanation."

John mulled over that. Remembering the situation in as much detail as he could, hadn't helped him to clarify why he had acted the way he did, but maybe it wasn't something specific to the situation. Rodney's talk of sentinel/guide couples made him think of something else. "Maybe it's the bond," he said.

"What?" Rodney and Carson asked at the same time.

"Every time I open up to you to the level I'm comfortable with, I can feel it inviting me to go further. It's pressing me to take one more step, but I won't let it. I've never had to do that with any of my previous guides. Maybe it's messing with how the sentinel/guide connection is supposed to work," John said.

"You mean as long as you actively suppress it, you can't control it," Rodney said.

"Something like that," John said.

"That's an interesting theory," Carson said. "It would make sense. There's an innate fit between a sentinel/guide, but it's only a baseline. Training can and does increase it usually. A sentinel's control grows as they become more familiar with their guide and more experienced. Reaching the full potential of their natural connection is usually what they're working towards, but in your case you're keeping your full potential artificially low. It could be compared to trying to build a house on a foundation that isn't stable enough for it."

"His senses have become more reliable in general, though," Rodney pointed out.

"But I only go to a certain level usually," John admitted.

"So maybe you've adapted the use of your senses to the level you're willing to let Rodney be your guide," Carson said. "But in an extreme situation, like Rodney being shot, your instinct as a sentinel takes over without the benefit and control of a full and stable connection with your guide."

"So we've got a theory," Rodney said. "The question is can we do something to fix it." He looked at John. "Or rather, are you willing to...listen to the bond?"

John thought about Rodney on the floor, bleeding almost to death. "Yes," he said. Whatever fears he might have about giving himself completely to Rodney, the alternative of losing him was so much worse. He'd worry about the SGC later.

He needed to give their bond a chance to make their sentinel/guide connection all it could be and should be.

~~

Doing something as monumental as completing their bond in a hotel room should have felt odd, but they'd managed to get the same room they'd had sex in after their first visit to Carson. It seemed fitting to complete the bond in the same spot where John had first lost control of it. Not to mention that Rodney would be eager to do a test as soon as John was willing.

John was fine with that. It didn't mean that he wasn't also intimidated.

He still didn't know what to expect when he followed the bond's invitation to its conclusion. There was no reason to believe they were in any danger. The way Lesedi talked about it, it was a wonderful experience to put it mildly. She'd asked more than once why they hadn't gone all the way yet with the bond, mostly teasing them, but John knew that a part of her really didn't understand.

And he couldn't blame her. If he'd known someone who seemed one step away from a perfect match—not just on paper, but an actual match that they could feel—and they didn't do everything in their power to achieve it, he would have questioned their mental faculty.

He and Rodney had their reasons, of course, but now it felt to John as if this last step had been inevitable. Rodney was his guide. It didn't matter what the SGC had in their records, and it didn't matter that John didn't want to deal with the complications of not having Rodney officially assigned. The bond between them existed and wouldn't be ignored.

They entered their room, and Rodney looked at him, eyebrows raised in question.

"I'm ready," John said, though he didn't really feel it. He stomach fluttered with nerves—and anticipation.

Rodney stepped closer. "How do you want to do this?" he asked.

"Let's get naked first," John said, remembering the urgency of their first time in this room.

He started taking off his clothes, and Rodney did the same until they both stood naked at the end of the bed. John felt a bit out of his depth. Usually having sex with Rodney came natural, but right now he felt weird. They were going to have sex, but it wasn't the main point of the act. He wondered if this was what opposite sex couples felt like when they decided to have a baby.

Rodney stepped closer. "If you're not entirely sure, we can wait. Or not go all the way today, just one more step."

John appreciated Rodney's understanding, especially because he knew how eager he was. "No, it's fine," John said. "Well, I'm..."

"You don't have performance anxiety, do you?" Rodney asked.

"What? No!" John said.

Rodney laughed, put his hands on John's hips, and kissed him.

John sighed in relief and kissed back. This was better. They kissed for a while until John said, "Let's move to the bed."

They settled down and started kissing again. It felt wonderful and was calming John down a bit, but as soon as he thought about what they were about to do, his nerves flared up again.

"We should..." John began. "I'm not sure how far this will take me in terms of losing control. Let's start, and then I can open up while we..."

"Fuck," Rodney finished for him. "You want to be on top?"

"Yeah, I...I think that's how it works," John said. He'd tended to want to fuck Rodney when he opened up his senses to him the first time. "Though it's a bit weird to think that the bond would require a specific position."

"Maybe it doesn't but it's what you prefer when you're really turned on," Rodney said, letting his hand wander from John's hip to his ass.

John thought about that for a moment. He loved being fucked, but it was a different kind of urge. "You might be right, actually," he said.

"I usually am," Rodney commented with a smirk.

"So do you want to fuck me instead?" John asked, having noted Rodney's hand on his ass.

"No," Rodney said. "I'll have chances enough to fuck you. This should be... You should follow your instincts."

"All right," John said. He pulled Rodney close again, kissing him. He moved his hand to Rodney's ass, squeezing it. Rodney had a fantastic ass. John pulled back and motioned at the bed. "Get on your front."

Rodney raised an eyebrow but complied. "You're not going to fuck me like this, are you?" he asked. "I'd prefer face to face for this."

"Yes," John agreed. "I mean, yes, face-to-face. I just want to enjoy your ass for a bit."

"Go ahead then," Rodney said, crossing his arms on the pillow.

John allowed himself to forget about what they were about to do for the moment and kissed and licked Rodney's ass and his hole until Rodney started squirming and pushing his ass out to him. "John," he whined.

John chuckled. "I'll get the lube," he said.

"Hurry!" Rodney said.

As he started preparing Rodney, John's mind drifted back to their bond and how it felt every time he'd opened up a bit more to Rodney. It was going to be intense. When he could easily move three fingers inside Rodney, he reached around to encircle Rodney's cock.

"I'm more than ready if that's what you're checking," Rodney complained.

John grinned and let go of Rodney's erection. "Turn around," he said and picked up the condom from the nightstand.

Rodney turned around and spread his legs. His cock was lying hard up his belly, and his mouth was parted. He took John's breath away for a second, and John turned to look at the condom packet instead, concentrating on getting it out and over his hard cock.

He could feel the bond calling for him to complete it, to claim his guide. John positioned himself between Rodney's legs and looked up at him. He still kept his senses at the maximum level he'd allowed them so far when he was with Rodney.

Rodney pulled back his legs. "Take me," he said.

John swallowed and pushed in. He didn't take his time, steadily sinking into Rodney's tight ass until he was balls deep.

Rodney groaned, and wrapped his legs around John. "I want to feel you," he said. "I want to feel more of you."

John knew that he didn't mean their bodies. At least not just their bodies. They could both feel their bond, but Rodney needed him to open up more to really experience it. And he wanted to give his guide this experience. He wanted him to feel like John felt when he reached out and _knew_ Rodney was there.

Slowly John followed the bond's call, opening up his senses to Rodney, and he was filled with lust and something else that made him start thrusting into his guide.

It _was_ intense, but once John started opening up, he was no longer afraid or even intimidated. He didn't rush it. He kept up the slow pace in which he allowed his senses to take hold of him, to feel Rodney in a way he'd never felt him before.

"John, I can..." Rodney said, stopping in a moan when John thrust especially deep.

He could sense Rodney in that almost physical way that wasn't comparable to any other sense but a culmination of all. He was _aware_ of Rodney. And he wanted to be even more aware, see him more clearly, scent him more sharply, touch him more deeply, taste him.

He opened up his senses more and more and was only vaguely aware of his thrusts increasing. The only important thing was to finally fully sense his guide in all his facets. He was the most beautiful thing John's senses had ever come across.

Rodney was calling out his name beneath him, and John came closer and closer. Every step further he took was a revelation, a celebration. Rodney was so close now, so breathtakingly close, but John needed to go even further.

He opened up more and more, getting closer and closer until suddenly Rodney was no longer in front of him, but all around him—and inside him.

They were no longer two separate entities. They were one, truly one. Sentinel/guide. John had never felt such joy.

He'd finally fulfilled his destiny. He'd found his guide and they were one again.

~~

Rodney struggled with the dual assault of John fucking him into incoherent pleasure and feeling John's...he didn't know what it was. His soul, his heart, it didn't matter. It was John's _essence_ filling him completely and at the same time laying a protective shield around them.

Rodney felt as if he could burst, but at the same time he felt completely safe. John was there. John was inside him and on top of him and he would never be alone again as long as they both lived.

He didn't consciously feel his own climax. It was only as the intensity of their bond faded that Rodney could see the evidence of his orgasm. John slipped out of him and collapsed by his side. But Rodney still felt as if he was filled and surrounded by him on some level.

"I think we just bonded," John said, looking at him.

"You _think_?" Rodney asked.

John smiled widely. "I _know_. My guide," he added, putting a hand on Rodney's neck and stroking it.

"Yes," Rodney said. "I can still feel it. Do you think that's normal?"

"Yes," John said. "Unless I close my senses off to you, but I won't do that. Never again."

"That was intense. I didn't even notice when I came," Rodney said.

"Me neither," John said. "It won't always be like that."

"That's good, I think. Not that it wasn't fantastic, but I _like_ feeling that I come," Rodney said. "And we can still feel _this_." He put a hand on John's chest. Then he closed his eyes and lifted the hand. Wow. He even could feel John's physical presence. It was faint, but so far he'd only been able to feel the vague knowledge that John was around, but not exactly where. He opened his eyes. "It's like a homing beacon. Could be useful."

John smiled fondly. "Yes, though I hope you won't have to use it often. And you can be sure that I'll always find _you_." He sounded very confident of it.

"We'll have to test it out some time," Rodney said. "Lesedi will be so smug."

"Yes," John agreed. "She'll ask why we didn't do it sooner."

Rodney looked at John speculatively. "Do you think we should have?"

John thought about it for a moment. Then he shook his head. "We needed to be ready for it. This won't ever go away. It was right of us to be sure." He closed his eyes. "I can see you. Now you're frowning."

"How did you...?" Rodney asked.

"You're a part of me now," John said. He opened his eyes. "I love you."

Rodney's mouth opened. "I, uh, love you too," he said overwhelmed. He had a hard time processing all of it. He hadn't thought it would feel so real. It was as if they'd physically changed. "I do. I just...didn't expect this."

"We're bonded now," John said. "Things will never be the same."

"I know," Rodney said. "God, I want to see what our score is now! Can we go? I mean we should probably shower first, but right after—"

"Yes," John said, smiling fondly at him. He pulled Rodney close and kissed him.

Rodney kissed back. He could feel something inside of him flutter happily.

~~

It felt good to touch Rodney for the test, knowing that the bond connected them. Not just when they touched, but always.

They decided to wait while Carson worked to retrieve the test result from the machine. Rodney picked up a book about historical sentinel/guide pairs.

"Mythical, my ass," he said after a while, then went on reading.

John only smiled. He opened up his senses a bit more, listening to the faint noises of the neighborhood, smelling the scents of Carson's office. He suspected that his high level abilities would be much stronger now, but even at this level it felt different.

And always present was the connection to Rodney, grounding him. And unlike before it wasn't a balancing act. It was simply there, like a warm glow on his face on a sunny day outside. It was as natural as breathing, and John had the impression that soon it would be a part of him like having limbs was.

Right now he still was quite aware of it, though. Probably simply because he sought Rodney out with his guide sense. It felt too good not to.

John wasn't sure how long he sat, basking in Rodney's presence and their bond, when Carson came in.

"This is unprecedented," he said.

Rodney put down the book, smiling smugly. "What is it? It's 100%, isn't it?"

"It's more than that, technically," Carson said.

"I broke the scale again?" Rodney asked.

"What do you mean 'again'?" John asked, frowning.

"My guide level has been measured as higher than 9, but since the scale only goes up to that..." Rodney trailed off, looking self satisfied.

"Oh," John said. Rodney wasn't shy about talking about how high level he was but John hadn't known that his result had been off the charts.

"Don't worry," Rodney quickly said. "It's not like I ever expected to find a sentinel on the same level."

John raised an eyebrow at Rodney's slightly patronizing tone. "You have," he told him.

It was Rodney's turn to say, "Oh."

"You both scored over level 9 and are a match of over 100%?" Carson said, eyes wide. "We _have_ to tell the SGC."

"Tell them what exactly? They know our levels, and they know we're an exceptional match. They just don't care because their little rulebook says 'disqualified'," John said.

"I imagine they might be interested enough in your co-operation that they'd be willing to bend some rules," Carson said.

"Are you not telling us something?" Rodney asked, eyes narrowing.

"I'm only saying the SGC is always looking for success stories," Carson said. "I'm not sure how many sentinel/guide pairs of your calibre exist in the world today, but it can't be many. Maybe there are none."

"Do _you_ want to talk with them?" John asked. Carson wasn't working _for_ the SGC, but he worked enough _with_ them to know them and be in a different position to approach them.

"Uhm," Carson said, looking surprised.

"We're not exactly on friendly terms with any higher ups," John explained. "Our SFPD liaison wants to split us up even though she _knows_ we match, and I think the SGC guy responsible for matches would be happy to never see me again."

"I can go with you if you need some back-up," Rodney told Carson.

"Maybe Carson should try alone," John said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rodney said archly, turning to him.

"Diplomacy is not your strong suit, is it?" John pointed out.

Rodney glared at him, but didn't contradict John.

~~

"I'm going to let go now," Rodney said, unclasping his hand from John's and moving away.

They were gradually testing out how powerful John's senses really were now. Rodney knew that John didn't need physical contact to be grounded by his presence, but he still liked to start out that way when they pushed the limits of what John could perceive.

It was astounding how much John could focus now without zoning out. He could track individuals in a crowd hundreds of meters away only by listening. He could identify if a coin was heads or tails half a mile away.

And they had yet to reach the limits of how far away he could still sense Rodney.

Rodney himself could sense John if he was in the same room or just in the next room. He could always tell when he was about to knock on his office door, and it freaked Lesedi out when they were training. She was envious of their bond, of course, though she was professional enough not to show it.

Rodney's phone rang, and he picked it up, greeting Carson. John stopped focusing and joined him—which was another achievement Rodney could only marvel at. That John could retain a base awareness of his surroundings while focusing so extremely on something far away was incredibly hard to accomplish, but very helpful in their line of work.

"I'm sorry," Carson said. "I tried, but they're not convinced."

"Idiots," Rodney said. "What do they think? That we made it up? That the assumption of 25% maximum influence is wrong?"

"They believe what I tested, but they don't trust the result," Carson said.

Rodney was disgusted with the imbeciles at the SGC. Not that he'd expected anything else. "Thank you for trying," he said.

"Aye. I wish they would have listened," Carson said.

"I know," Rodney said. "Thanks. We'll see you next time you're in town."

"I'll call you," Carson said. "Goodbye Rodney. And John."

"Bye Carson. Thanks," John said loud enough for Carson to hear.

Rodney hung up, throwing the phone on the couch. "Fuck them."

"It was worth a shot," John said. "We knew that this was the likely outcome."

"It doesn't make it any less stupid," Rodney said. "I want this, John. Not just because it makes no sense, but it's actually dangerous. Imagine you'd zone out and Soo-soo can't bring you back when I easily could. I don't know what I'd do if you..." He could even finish the sentence.

John smiled softly at him, and suddenly Rodney felt warmth in and out, John's presence wrapping himself around Rodney.

"I can feel it," Rodney said in amazement. Their bond was so strong, so undeniable. Thinking about it only made him madder at the SGC. "I don't want to let this go to waste! If they only believe in their numbers, we'll have to give them the numbers."

"What do you mean?" John asked. "Carson already—"

"Not _those_ numbers," Rodney said. "The real numbers. The actual performance tests."

"Only official sentinel/guide pairs can take that test," John reminded him.

"I know," Rodney said. "That's the part I still have to figure out." But he would. Somehow he would.

~~

"I don't see why they couldn't at least allow you to do the tests," Lesedi said the next evening when they met up at the bar with John and 'his guide' and Ronon and Teyla. "We do them once a year anyway! It's not like doing it once more is going to cost the world."

"I do not believe it is the cost," Teyla said. "It is the principle."

"They're afraid of what'll happen when they start bending the rules," Ronon said.

"What exactly _would_ happen?" Rodney asked him, annoyed.

"Couples that aren't as good as their matching score," Ronon said. Before Rodney could protest, Ronon added, "Hey, I'm on your side. Just answering your question."

"So what?" Lesedi asked. "It's not as if every couple with a sentinel will suddenly want to switch to have their partner as their guide." After a moment, she added more evenly, "Probably. It would only work if their partner is a guide anyway."

"Sentinels could start sleeping with guides or vice versa to boost their match score," John said.

"Do you honestly think that?" Rodney asked. "Unless you're bi, there's only even a fifty percent chance their sex matches your sexual orientation. And even if it fits, they're often in a relationship or just not into you like that."

"I was thinking about conventions," John clarified. "This could change how _some_ , not necessarily all, people approach finding a guide or being found by a sentinel. And you know I'm on your side too. I'm just saying, opening up the rules would likely have consequences."

"All right," Rodney said, throwing up his hands. "Let them shave off 25% of those matches. That'll make people think twice about doing it just for the matching score. But it would still allow people like us to prove ourselves in the real tests. And _then_ we'd have some hard data on what the relationship bonus really is and how it works."

There was a moment of silence at the table. Rodney could only assume everyone pondered how right he was and that the SGC had no reason to be so stubborn.

"Is there no way to do the test outside of the annual evaluations?" John asked eventually.

"I've looked into it," Rodney said. "They don't publish what they do with the data they collect or even what exactly is measured, so what we know from going through it is _all_ there is to know. Even if we could find out how exactly they calculate the final result, I doubt they'd accept anything but their real test. It's constantly refined and adapted to fit their research too, so unless someone involved with this at the SGC wants to help us, I don't see what we could do short of breaking in."

"We could try it," Ronon said. "Three sentinels with their guides..."

"Even if we were successful," Teyla said, "I doubt the SGC would look kindly on results achieved that way. They want results gathered in the controlled environment that they provide during the annual evaluation."

"So take the test," Song-soo or whatever his name was suddenly piped up. Rodney wasn't the only one staring at him. For one, he normally didn't open his mouth except to order his drink, secondly, he didn't make a lot of sense.

"We just established that the SGC won't allow that," Rodney said slowly, in case his quietness masked a mental deficiency.

"There _will_ be a test," Sung-soo said. "Both John and Lesedi will perform it with their respective guide."

"The guys doing the tests are from the Washington HQ," Lesedi jumped in. "They won't recognize any of us."

"You think I can pass as So..." Rodney struggled with the name.

"Sung-soo Chung," John helped him out.

Rodney pointed at John. "That."

"It's not like they ever even asked with us," Ronon pointed out. He wasn't wrong. Rodney couldn't recall identification being a hassle or even happening for him.

"And there is no reason to suspect anything," Teyla added. "There is no incentive for anyone to go with someone else. There is no reason to want a lower score since sentinels can always request a different guide, and if you think you can get a higher score, the SGC encourages that in all cases but this particular one."

"It could work," John said. "And if it doesn't, they're pretty pissed off at us anyway. I don't think they can do more than separate us at work."

Rodney wasn't sure if this plan was genius or madness. Probably a bit of both.

~~

John was both nervous and excited when they put their plan into action a little over a month later. He'd trained with Rodney intensively in the last weeks, to the point where he was looking forward to a bit of a break from it. He _liked_ training with Rodney and pushing himself but in the end Rodney had even turned their sex into training which was going to stop if John had anything to say about it.

Rodney was his guide, but they were also romantic partners, and while there wasn't a moment where John didn't feel their connection through the bond, he also wanted to spend time with Rodney as a friend and lover.

The warehouse the SGC used for their tests was quite full. As they had counted on, the SGC personnel only paid attention to the sentinel's ID. There actually _had_ been attempts to cheat by sending a different sentinel, so this was done and done properly. But as soon as they had accepted John's ID, he and Rodney were waved through without another look.

The tests went well. John felt better than ever using his abilities almost to their fullest potential. He could probably squeeze out a bit more in the next years or decades if he trained more with Rodney, but it wouldn't be nearly as much of a leap as the one caused by bonding with Rodney.

The different people who supervised the tests sometimes looked impressed, and when they tested John's ability to sense his guide, they actually had to leave and confer with colleagues because John could still sense Rodney at the limit that they had devised for the test.

All in all it was an exhausting but gratifying experience. Much more so than any of the previous annual evaluations.

Afterwards he dialed down all senses—except his guide sense, which he never changed anymore—grabbed Rodney and pizza and beer and forced his guide to forget about the tests and what the results would be by playing mindless video games and having messy sex.

A week later, Lesedi got her test result along with the other sentinels in San Francisco. She'd performed the test with Sung-soo, and her results were, predictably, not as good as with her previous guide. But they also hadn't plummeted to a point that would raise eyebrows or concern Whitley.

Other sentinels at the SFPD discussed their results as well or tried to avoid it, but notably absent was John's result.

"Where is it?" Rodney asked.

"I've looked twice," John said. "I even asked the mail guy. I didn't get one."

"Do you think they noticed what we did?" Rodney asked. "They did so many recordings, I'm not sure we would have noticed if they caught us on tape."

"That wouldn't surprise me, actually. But they'd still have to suspect something first," John said. "Do you think the result was so good that they didn't believe it could have come from me and Sung-soo?"

"It _couldn't_ have come from you and Sung-soo," Rodney said, crossing his arms.

"I _know_ that. So maybe the SGC knows it too. I'm sure they're running statistics for their reports," John said.

"You're right. Not to mention that we broke the guide sensing test. That alone would have flagged us somehow," Rodney said, grinning proudly. "You're right. This isn't surprising. Maybe they needed more than a week to handle our tests."

"As long as they don't stop before they get the results, I can wait for a bit longer," John said.

"You think they'd stop processing them while doing an investigation?" Rodney asked. "There has to be some kind of automation involved in this. And the actual results would be important in the investigation, wouldn't they? We _did_ the tests. It's only the matter of identity, specifically _my_ identity, that would be up to debate."

"I know," John said. "I...have no idea what's going on. We'll have to wait and see."

Rodney sighed and nodded. "Did you hear about Ronon's result? A lot better than he ever did with me."

"Yeah, I've talked to Teyla. She's determined to improve it even further," John said, smiling.

Rodney slumped against John's desk. "I just hope this won't take months. I know that you're careful when you're out there, and you haven't zoned out so far, but I'd really feel better if I could be by your side in the field."

"I know," John said, stepping closer and taking Rodney in his arms. "Let's wait a few days, and then we could maybe ask Whitley?" He couldn't believe he was suggesting talking to her voluntarily.

"Really?" Rodney asked, looking up at him hopefully.

John smiled and gave him a quick kiss.

It was only a day later when John and Sung-soo were asked to join Whitley and a representative of the SGC in her office. John called Rodney and asked him to meet them there before making his way to Whitley's office.

The man she introduced as Richard Woolsey looked like a bureaucrat if John had ever seen one. Both he and Whitley seemed very happy, though, so John suspected that they hadn't discovered what had happened yet.

"I'd like Rodney McKay to join us before we begin our discussion," John said when Whitley asked them all to take seats.

She looked at him archly for a moment, then smiled. "There is no reason for him to come. As you'll soon see, Sung-soo is _much more_ suited to be your guide, no matter what you think. I think you'll be surprised how well you two really work together."

"I really think Rodney should be here for this," John said to Woolsey, ignoring Whitley. "After all, I took the test with _him_ , not Sung-soo."

Woolsey looked visibly surprised, while Whitley's eyes narrowed in anger. "You did what?" she asked.

"It's true," Sung-soo said calmly from his seat. "There didn't seem to be another way to convince the SGC to listen."

"Cheating is hardly a way to gain our favor," Whitley said sharply.

"I'd like to talk with Mr. McKay too if they really took the test together," Woolsey said. "Frankly, it does make more sense than the result we got from the two of you with your relatively low initial match score." He turned to Whitley. "Margaret, can you arrange to get Mr. McKay?"

Whitley looked at him coldly but got up.

"It's Dr. McKay by the way," John said. "He should be here in a minute if he isn't already. I called him before we came."

Whitley looked as if she had to force herself not to comment on that. She opened the door to her office, where Rodney had apparently been waiting. And he hadn't been alone.

"I should come in too," Lesedi said. "If this goes right, I'll be as much affected as Sung-soo."

Whitley turned to Woolsey who nodded. She sighed and went to take her seat again behind her desk.

"May I ask why Dr. McKay isn't your guide?" Woolsey asked John when Lesedi had closed the door behind them.

"They're disqualified," Whitley supplied.

"Disqualified?" Woolsey asked, frowning for a second. Then understanding dawned. "Oh, I see. I think I'm beginning to understand."

"Do you?" Rodney asked. "Then I hope you see how senseless this rule is."

"Well...I have to admit I wasn't quite prepared for this," Woolsey said. "I was sent by the SGC to present your results in person." He retrieved an envelope from his briefcase and handed it to John who took it but didn't open it. "As you'll see your results were exceptional across the board. Based on these results, the SGC has asked me to convey an offer to you. The SGC has a special unit comprised of only the highest performing sentinel/guide pairs. We would like you to join them."

"You mean me and Rodney as my guide?" John asked to be absolutely clear.

"Well, obviously we didn't know that you hadn't performed the test with your assigned guide," Woolsey said. "And the matter of your...relationship would require us to discuss how exactly we want to move forward. This is quite unprecedented. So far the only cases where sentinel/guide intimacies have become an issue happened when they had already been officially assigned to each other."

"What did you do with them?" Rodney asked.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss this, I'm afraid," Woolsey said. "I'll have to confer with my colleagues and contact you again when we're ready to proceed."

"So there is a chance you'll allow us to work as official sentinel/guide pair?" John asked. He wanted nothing more in the world.

"Yes," Woolsey said. "I obviously cannot make any promises, but your test results are...extraordinary. I imagine the SGC will consider making an exception to the rule in your case since you've proven without a doubt that your sentinel/guide abilities are real."

"What about others?" Rodney asked. "History seems to suggest that we're not the only sentinel/guide pair with a special...bond. If there is more to this, you might be actively working to keep the best sentinel/guide pairs apart."

"For now we have this one case before us," Woolsey said. "I'm not sure the SGC will want to extrapolate from—"

"And they shouldn't," Rodney said. "You should study this extensively, but in order to do that you'll need more cases."

"Changing this rule could have wide-reaching implications," Woolsey said. "How would we handle unreliable matching scores? If we did away with them, how can we prevent mismatches? You'll see it's not as simple as striking the rules from our books and be done with it."

"I understand that," Rodney said. "But you can reconsider your stance and set in motion ways to address this problem. And it _is_ a problem."

"If you're willing to make an exception for _us_ , you do see the value that sentinel/guide couples have," John said. "If our results are so extraordinary, don't you think the SGC should do _something_ to ensure it doesn't let other such couples slip through their fingers?"

Woolsey looked from John to Rodney to Margaret, who dropped her gaze thoughtfully. "I have much to discuss," he finally said. "I will contact you as soon as I can. In the meantime, congratulations on your test results."

"Thank you," John said.

Woolsey closed his briefcase and left with a formal smile at them. "Goodbye."

"Given the circumstances, I believe it would be best if the four of you work together as a team again until we hear from Mr. Woolsey," Whitley said. John's eyebrows rose. "Don't look so surprised, John. I don't _write_ the rules. I'm just asked to follow them."

"Fair enough," John said. "Thank you, Margaret."

She gave him a quick smile and shooed them out of her office.

Outside, Rodney immediately grabbed his arm. "So what's the result? I want numbers!"

John laughed, Lesedi grinned, and even Sung-soo chuckled.

~~

It took a week until Woolsey returned with an offer.

John and Rodney would be officially assigned as a sentinel/guide pair. They would work in a special unit for high performing sentinel/guide pairs, helping government agencies to solve the most difficult cases. They'd also be given ample time and resources to improve John's senses even further.

"What about others?" Rodney asked.

John agreed with Rodney that the SGC should change their handling of cases like theirs, but he wasn't sure what he'd do if Woolsey offered nothing but empty promises. Was he willing to walk away from a chance to help people who needed it the most with Rodney as his guide as it should be?

Thankfully that wasn't necessary.

"After careful deliberation, the SGC has decided to institute a new rule concerning romantic or sexual relationship between sentinels and their guides. In order to gain a clearer understanding of the effects such relationships have on the various tests the SGC runs, including the matching score, we'll allow sentinel/guide pairs who've performed at least five annual evaluations together and who wish to enter such a relationship to come forward," Woolsey said. "Since we're well aware that some sentinel/guide pairs might have started such a relationship in secret we will ask them to honestly report that—without any negative effect to their status—so that we can conduct our research accordingly."

"That doesn't cover cases like ours," Rodney said.

"No, it does not," Woolsey confirmed. "We are considering a rule that allows sentinels to come forward and claim a romantic partner as a secondary guide so that we can conduct some research while still maintaining the certainty that the tests that determined their primary guide are accurate. We would like to wait and see how many couples come forward in our first round of research to get a better idea of the numbers we can expect. We only have limited resources in our research department, even if the SGC recognizes this as an important issue and will allocate its budget accordingly."

To John it sounded like they were really trying. He looked at Rodney.

"Have you discussed what you'll do with the research and what your timeline is?" Rodney asked.

"We're trying to go into this open-minded," Woolsey said. "I can assure you, Dr. McKay, that your case made a strong impact at the highest level of the SGC. It is our organization's central goal to foster our sentinel's abilities and that includes finding the ideal guide for them. The rule to exclude couples from becoming sentinel/guide pairs was meant to prevent the many documented cases of sentinels choosing their guide not based on how well they matched, but how much they liked them."

"I know that," Rodney said. "I think the introduction of matching scores was not just sensible but necessary. I'm just disagreeing with how you handle this particular case where you can't rely on it any longer."

"And the SGC now understands that you're right. We just don't know yet what the best alternative will be," Woolsey said.

"But you _will_ fix it?" John asked.

"Yes," Woolsey said. "We cannot afford to prevent sentinels from finding their optimal guide."

"Then I think we'll be happy to take your offer," John said. "Rodney?"

"I trust you'll keep us informed of the progress of your research, Mr. Woolsey?" Rodney asked.

"I will," Woolsey confirmed. "And in your new position, you'll find that you'll have access to the research yourself if you so wish."

Rodney perked up. "What else would we have access to?"

John smiled as Woolsey went into details of their new position. He was happy for Rodney but didn't really care as long as they were going to stay together.

Ever since he'd discovered that he was a sentinel, he'd looked forward to the moment where he found _his guide_. This wasn't exactly what he'd imagined back then. He couldn't have known that he would find someone who'd be much more than his guide. He also couldn't have known how long he would have to wait to find him. But he finally had.

He'd found his guide and they were going stay together forever.

~~

"Rodney!" Lesedi rushed towards them and pulled Rodney into a hug. Rodney squeezed her and smiled. She let him go, but Rodney could hardly take a breath before Ronon picked him up in a bear hug.

"Let me go, you brute," Rodney said, unable to hide a grin. "You all act like we haven't seen each other in... Wow, it _has_ been almost a year, hasn't it?"

Rodney was a bit surprised to realize that it had been so long since they'd moved to DC. Time had flown by in the last months. Between training with John and cases all over the US, he hadn't had much time to miss his former sentinels and friends.

"Yes, it _has_ ," Teyla said behind him, extracting herself from the hug she'd shared with John. "It's good to see you, Rodney." She came to give him a quick hug as well.

"All right. Are we quite done with the welcome?" Rodney asked. He was pretty beat from the flight. They'd just come off an especially trying case in Florida, and Rodney was more than ready for the relaxing part of his vacation to begin. Then he noticed a face he hadn't seen before. "You're Lesedi's new guide?" he asked.

"Eh, no," he said. He was quite handsome, his skin just a shade lighter than Lesedi's dark brown, Rodney noted when she took the man's hand.

"Ah, boyfriend," Rodney corrected himself.

"He _is_ a guide," Lesedi told him. "Just not my guide. Unfortunately."

Rodney raised an eyebrow and exchanged a look with John. They had only just opened up the opportunity for sentinels to pick a secondary guide they were romantically involved with, and the SGC had imposed limits on how many such requests would be granted, so high level sentinels and couples with outstanding matching scores were preferred.

"It's not because of the SGC," her boyfriend clarified.

"Oh," Lesedi said. "Right. I didn't mean to imply that. We wouldn't be a good match. Well, certainly not better than my match with Sylvie."

"So no bond for you, huh?" Rodney said. He did feel a bit bad for her. He knew how reverently she talked about her grandparents' relationship. And he knew for a fact how much she was missing.

"No," Lesedi said. " _But_ I get to have a boyfriend _and_ a guide."

"So two people to boss around," Rodney guessed with a grin.

"When it's not the other way around. Sylvie can be as bad as you," Lesedi said.

"Well, then you must be lucky," Rodney said, smiling.

"How are the two of you doing?" John asked Teyla and Ronon. "Still improving your matching score?"

"We're not going to beat the two of you," Ronon said. "Doesn't mean we won't try," he added with a gleam in his eyes.

"Up for a little competition?" John asked, grinning dangerously.

Rodney and Teyla let out identical sighs, which made the others laugh.

"We have two full weeks here," Rodney said. "How about we go for a drink now, then go to the hotel and rest, and tomorrow you can do whatever juvenile thing you absolutely need to do?"

"Sounds like a plan," John said, his grin firmly in place, but softer now.

They left, and Rodney could feel John wrapping himself around Rodney with his guide sense. As always, it made Rodney smile. In the last months they'd been in situations where feeling John was the only thing keeping Rodney's spirits high. But even in happy moments, feeling his sentinel like that never ceased to amaze Rodney. It was protection, acceptance, need, trust, and love all wrapped together.

John put an arm around his shoulder as they went through the door, and they smiled at each other.

Rodney was well aware how lucky he was. The SGC had done what was right eventually, but it could have just as easily ended differently for them. It still wasn't right for many other couples, but they were working towards it, and Rodney felt more than a bit proud that he had had a hand in that.

It wasn't even just smugness or hating senseless rules out of principle. It was simply that he felt that every guide who was lucky enough to be found by a sentinel should have the chance to experience what _he_ was experiencing every day. Nobody should ever be disqualified from finding happiness.

He put his arm around John's waist. John turned to him, and their faces met in a quick kiss before they walked on.


End file.
